Once I Had A Secret Love – Part 2

Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: JAG and all its characters belong to Belisarius Productions, Paramount, CBS, Viacom, and probably endless others.

Summary: Mac writes a book about her life and loves. AJ reads it and realizes she’s in love with him.

Author's comments: The main plot for this story came from Naïma. I am delighted that she asked me to write the story for her while she’s busy with another semester of classes. Characters' speaking parts are in double quotes ("text"); characters' thoughts are in single quotes ('text').

Tuesday, 6 November 2001

0815 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Mac entered the bullpen wheeling her new briefcase behind her. "Colonel! New briefcase?" asked Bud.

"Yes, Bud, it is. Much easier on my hands," she replied as she made her way to her office.

"Wow, it's a Lodis! Harriett, come and see Colonel MacKenzie's new briefcase! It's one of those I showed you on the Web last week. You know, the one that costs $300!"

"$300?!" Mac exclaimed. "You're kidding, right?"

"No, Ma'am. That's the Exec-on-the-Go model, I'm sure of it. And it retails for $290. Then with tax, it's over $300." Bud looked at her strangely. "Ma'am, why don't you know how much it cost? Didn't you buy it?"

None of them noticed the Admiral walk up behind Bud. AJ loved to surprise his people by sneaking up on them. It was the SeAL in him. "Mac, how are your hands this morning?"

"Admiral!" "Sir!" Harriett and Bud said at the same time, coming to attention stance.

"As you were."

"Good morning, Sir. My hands are very sore, thank you," she smiled. "But this new briefcase is wonderful. It definitely made it easier coming in this morning."

"Good, good," AJ said as he reached for her hands. "Let me see them, Mac."

Bud and Harriett backed out of her office quietly as Mac placed her hands in the Admiral's. He turned them over and examined the blisters and the poison ivy. "Mac, this hand is worse today than it was last night. Did you put medicine on them?"

"Yes, Sir. I think the right one is worse because of shifting the gears on the car. I have to wrap my hand around the shift knob pretty tightly to shift, and it hurts like the devil."

"I see. Then we need to get you an automatic car for a while, Mac," he said. "Tiner!" he yelled out the door.

Tiner came running to see what the Admiral wanted. "Yes Sir?"

"Call the motor pool. I want a car up here for the Colonel's use for at least the next two weeks. Automatic. No stick shift."

"Automatic, Sir. Yes, Sir."

"That's all, Tiner."

"Aye, aye, Sir!" Tiner turned on his heel and left the office.

"Thank you, Admiral."

"Not a problem, Mac."

"For the briefcase, too. I had no idea what you paid for this last night. Sir, it's too much. You really must let me pay you for it."

"Not a chance, Mac. That's what I won from Sunday. Being allowed to buy you a present," he grinned. "Or two or three."

"Four, Sir," she smiled. "And they fit perfectly. Thank you," she whispered.

"I expect to see them next time you come to play, Mac," he teased quietly.

Friday, 9 November 2001

1945 EST
McMurphy’s Tavern
Falls Church, Virginia

AJ walked in the tavern and looked around. He didn’t see anyone from JAG Ops. ‘Damn. I’m too late. They’ve all gone home already.’ He decided he might as well stay and have a bite to eat, so he took a seat at an open booth toward the back of the tavern.

He caught the eye of the bartender, who sent a waitress over to him. “Admiral. Your people were in earlier. I think they’ve all left now; you just missed ‘em, though.”

“Figures,” he replied.

“What can I get for you?”

“I’ll start with a glass of Merlot. And let me have a look at your dinner menu.”

“Certainly. I’ll get you one,” she said with a smirk. ‘Obviously no one’s told him about our food!’

As he was perusing the menu, he heard a voice. “Admiral?”

AJ looked up to see Mac standing by his table. “Mac! You’re still here? I thought everyone had left.”

“Did you plan it that way, Sir?” she joked.

“Yea, right. Just what I long to do: spend a Friday evening at a bar by myself. My company isn’t that good, Mac,” he chuckled.

“I’d have to disagree with you there, Sir.”

“So where were you when I came in?” he asked.

“Actually, I had left; I came back. Forgot my cover, if you can believe it. I never leave my cover, but I did tonight.”

“I’m glad you did. I mean, I’m uh, I’m glad you came back for it. For your cover,” he stumbled. Mac smiled. “Would you care to join me for dinner, Mac?”

“Here, Sir?” He nodded. “You’ve never eaten here before, have you, Sir?”

He shook his head, “No, I haven’t. Why?”

Mac leaned over and whispered in his ear, “It’s pretty raunchy stuff, Admiral. Believe me, you do not want to eat here.”

AJ looked Mac in the eyes, which were even with his at the moment. “Where would you suggest, Mac?”

“How about Argias? It’s just around the corner. You could walk, wouldn’t even have to move the car,” Mac suggested.

“Perfect. That is, assuming you’ll join me?”

“Admiral, I’m not...” she started to tell him that she wasn’t very hungry. She’d had a late lunch. But she would certainly go and order a little something.

“Never mind, Mac. I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated or...” he said, misinterpreting what she was starting to say.

Mac interrupted him. “I don’t, Sir. And thank you. Yes, I’d like to join you,” she said staring into his eyes. “For dinner.” ‘And so much more.’

“Wonderful.” He set the menu on the table and stood up. He left payment for his glass of wine and a tip on the table. He waved at the waitress as he and Mac left.

Once settled at a table in the quaint Italian restaurant, Mac and AJ were at a loss for words. They watched each other’s every movement, but neither spoke. When finally the tension was so thick it could be cut with the proverbial knife, AJ ventured forth with, “Any plans for Thanksgiving, Mac?”

“Yes, Sir. I’m going up to visit Chloe this year. I fly out on Tuesday afternoon and come back on Sunday morning. Assuming, of course, that she doesn’t suddenly decide to up and go visit someone for the holiday. She did that to me in the spring, you know.”

“Well, if you end up staying in town, you’re welcome to join Francesca and me for the holiday. I’m sure it won’t be a typical Thanksgiving dinner, but it’ll be good.”

“Thank you, Admiral. I’ll keep that in mind.”

“So tell me, Mac. What did you do with yourself on the Guadalcanal? I mean off hours? I know you didn’t work all night; I made sure of it. What’d you do to keep from going stir crazy?” he grinned.

“Actually, I got quite good at using my laptop, Sir. I did a lot of Web surfing, writing. I kept in close contact with Chloe the whole time. She’s really something online, I’ll tell you! I wrote Harm a few times, and Harriett. She kept me up to speed on things at JAG.” Mac had almost slipped and told him too much. She’d have to be more careful. No one must ever find out that she wrote a book, that book, during the evenings on the Guadalcanal.

“Tell me more about your exploits while you were there, Mac. Tell me what happened that I didn’t read about in your reports,” AJ requested.

Mac warmed to her subject, but made sure she stayed away from telling him any more about her evenings.

“Good night, Mac,” AJ said as he held her car door open for her. “This car working out all right for you?”

“Yes, Sir, it’s perfect. I can’t thank you enough for thinking of it. My hands are much better now.”

“I noticed. But keep the car another week, Mac. Give those hands time to really heal,” he suggested.

“Aye, Sir. Good night, Admiral.” Mac climbed in the car and he handed her the seatbelt. “Thank you, Sir,” Mac said as her hand touched his when she took the belt from him. He let their fingers linger for a moment before removing his hand.

“My pleasure. Sweet dreams, Mac.”

“They will be now, Sir,” she said suggestively.

Friday, 9 November 2001

2315 EST
Sarah MacKenzie’s Apartment
Georgetown, Washington, DC

Mac opened the door and let Jingo run inside in front of her. He immediately started barking. “Jingo, what is it?” Then Mac heard the answering machine. It was Harm’s voice.

“Mac, where are you? You said when we left McMurphy’s that you were going straight home. And you haven’t been there yet! I’ve called five times. Don’t make me drive over there. Mac, I’m worried about you. Call me!”

Mac grabbed the receiver before he hung up. “Harm! I’m here!”

“Mac! Thank God! Where have you been?”

“Harm, I was just outside walking Jingo.”

“For four hours, Mac?” he questioned.

“No, for 30 minutes. I was having dinner before that, Harm. What’s the problem? Do you need something?”

“I just thought you might want to get a pizza and watch a movie together tonight. And then when I couldn’t reach you for so long, I started to get worried. You did tell me you were going straight home, you know,” he admonished her.

“I forgot my cover at McMurphy’s, Harm. When I went back to collect it, the Admiral had just arrived and was going to eat dinner there.”

“Oh God! He didn’t!?” Harm said, aghast.

“No, I saved him from that fate worse than death. We went to Argias; you know, the little Italian place around the corner.”

“ 'We?' You went out for dinner with the Admiral, Mac?”

“Yes,” she replied.

“Like on a date?” he asked incredulously.

“No, Harm, not like a date. He wanted to know about my time on the Guadalcanal. So we had dinner and I talked about my 3-month TDY. Simple as that.”

“Oh. Okay. Well, what about tomorrow night? Want to catch a movie tomorrow?”

“Let me see how things go tomorrow, Harm. There are some things I need to get done around here. If that goes well, then yeah, we can go out. If not, we’ll have to make it another time. Why don’t you call me around 1500. I should know by then if I’ll be finished in time,” Mac suggested.

As it turned out, they did spend the evening together the next day. And the next. And the next several. They ended up at 29 Palms on an investigation for the entire week.

Thursday, 15 November 2001

1910 EST
Fresh Fields Market
Falls Church, Virginia

AJ Chegwidden stood in line at the checkout stand. The cashier was chatting amiably with the woman in front of him. He seldom listened to what people said in the checkout line, but when the cashier in the next lane piped up, it caught his attention.

"Just imagine, looking like the dead lover of your best friend and not even knowing it! Oh God, it was so sad. I was crying like a baby! Could you believe that part?"

"No! And when he kissed her after the guy who murdered his lover fell off the roof? Wow!"

"Do you think he was really kissing his old lover, or do you think he was kissing Maze?"

"I don't know. I haven't finished the book yet. I'm only on Chapter 7. I keep hoping she'll end up with Herb."

"God, yes! It's so obvious how much she loves him. She doesn't really love her partner like that. They're just friends, I'm sure of it. But her boss? Oh, God! He's fantastic!"

"If he'd just quit being such a jerk and flaunting his girlfriends in front of her!"

"Isn't that the truth? Can you just imagine?"

“Poor Maze. She’s so jealous of them.”

“It’s just not right, a rule like that.”

"But you know, there are a lot of companies with the rule that you can't date the executives."

"That'll be $163.23, Doris."

"I know, but why?"

"It's like Herb told Maze at Christmas time. You remember, when her little sister... oh, what's her name?"

"Mica. Here's your change, Doris. $6.77."

"Thanks, Em."

"That's right...Mica. After Mica was in his office watching TV and she'd gotten chocolate on everything? And she asked Herb why he never took Maze out for dinner."

"Oh, that's right! And Maze scooted Mica out the door before Herb could answer."

"But then he answered her later, and told her that if it weren't for the company rules, he would definitely ask her out for dinner."

"I thought I would die when I read that! It was so sad. You need help with your bags, Doris?"

"No, I've got them. Thanks, Em. See you later, girls!"

"Bye, Doris!" they called.

"Good evening, Admiral Chegwidden. How are you this evening?" offered the cashier. She was always glad when this handsome man chose her checkout lane. He was pleasant, never in a hurry, and always smiled at her. And what a gorgeous smile!

"Just fine, thanks, Em. And you?" he replied, though his mind was reeling from what he’d just heard.

Em was startled. He had never before called her by name. 'I wonder how he knows my name?' she thought happily.

As AJ put the groceries in the back of his vehicle, the words he'd heard kept running through his mind. Maze and Herb. They were definitely talking about that same book. His mind drifted back to Christmas several years ago, when Mac first brought her 'little sister' Chloe to JAG. That was the year Chloe hid in the elevator. And got chocolate all over his desk, his chair, his papers, his TV set, even the doorknob to his office! She had asked him why he never asked Mac out for dinner... and Mac had rushed her out of his office. And later he'd explained to Mac that he would ask her for dinner if it weren't for the regulations prohibiting it.

Another coincidence? In the same book? 'How likely is that?' he wondered. "Not very." Then he remembered the first thing the women said. Maze looks like the dead lover of her best friend? "Oh my God! That would be... Diane! Rabb's old flame from Academy days. And Mac does look exactly like her!" He decided to get a copy of the book and read it over the next week.

Saturday, 17 November 2001

1515 EST
United Airlines Concourse

Dulles International Airport, Washington, DC

AJ walked down the concourse toward the gate. As he passed a bookstore on the left, his eye caught sight of a display in the window. 'Once I Had A Secret Love' was proudly displayed with numerous copies available for purchase. AJ picked one up and took it to the counter. The clerk took his money and handed him the book. "Could you bag it for me?" AJ requested.

"Sure," quipped the clerk with a lopsided grin on her face. She'd sold a lot of this new romance novel. But not many to men.

AJ reached Francesca's gate just as her plane arrived. When she disembarked, she saw her father and ran to him. He opened his arms, and she flung herself at him. "Papà! Oh, how I have missed you!" she squealed with delight.

"I missed you more, Darlin'," he said, embracing her tightly.

They walked down to baggage claim and AJ handed Francesca the bag containing the new book. AJ grabbed her suitcases off the belt. "You always pack enough to stay a month. Why don't you do that sometime?" he teased.

"Oh, Papà!" she smiled. "It is winter. I needed warm clothes and they take up more room in the suitcase." She opened the bag and looked inside, curious to know what her father would have bought at an airport bookstore. "Papà, I am surprised that you would read this book. I have heard about it, even in Italy."

AJ was a little embarrassed; he'd hoped Francesca wouldn't look in the bag. 'Should have known better. She's just as nosey as her mother ever was.' He lied, "Bought it for you, Darlin'. I figured you'd want something to read while you were here, and it seems that all the women I know are reading this book. Must be good."

"Papà, you are so sweet to buy it for me. And you are right, I was going to get a copy while I'm here. You are a mind reader."

'Well, so much for getting started on that thing tonight,' he mused.

Sunday, 18 November 2001

2115 EST
Chegwidden Residence

McLean, VA

AJ walked in to the living room to find Francesca piled up on the sofa wrapped in an afghan. Tears were streaming down her face and she held the book to her chest. "Francesca?" he said quietly. "What's wrong, Darlin'?"

"Oh, Papà! This book is so wonderful. It is happy some of the time. It is sad some of the time. And it is so romantic all of the time! It makes me cry."

"Francesca, it's just a book," he tried to reason with her. "A novel. It isn't real." At least he hoped it wasn’t real.

"I know, Papà. It would be so sad if it was real. But it is so wonderful." Francesca decided that her father needed to hear some of it. "Sit, Papà. I will read you my favorite part so far."

AJ wasn't about to argue. First, he'd do just about anything for his daughter, and if she wanted to read the whole book out loud to him, he'd sit there and listen. And second, he wanted to read the book anyway! He settled himself on the other end of the sofa.

"You are settled, yes?"

"Yes, I'm settled. Go ahead."

"This is my favorite part, I think, because I would like for you to have had someone like this when I was kidnapped," she explained.

AJ groaned inwardly. 'Oh, God. Francesca's kidnapping is in there, too? No, this isn't Mac's book. It's just a coincidence. It has to be. God, please, let this one not be...'

Francesca lifted the book and began to read.

It had been almost two days since Herb's daughter was kidnapped. They'd received no ransom demands as yet; not Herb nor his ex-wife. Rob and I were at a loss as to what we could do for our boss. The police were coming up with nothing. Not even a clue. We had to do something. I laid in the bed and stared at the ceiling fan going around and around. There had to be something we were all missing.

And poor Herb! He had to be going crazy by now. I wanted to go to his hotel room and comfort him. I wanted to hold him and stroke his head and tell him that everything would be all right. That we would find his beautiful daughter tomorrow. And I wanted to rock him to sleep. But I knew neither would happen. I would never have the nerve to go to his room. And if I did, he wouldn't let me stay.

I felt so helpless. What could I do for him? What could I offer that he could... that he would... accept? He was there for me when Andy was murdered. He told me it wasn't my fault. I could tell him the same, but he wouldn't agree. His daughter was missing now, and he blamed no one but himself. His job, his career, was the sole reason she was at risk. Or so he believed.

I had to do something. I had to offer him some kind of comfort. If I didn't, someone else would. Herb was such a handsome man. Desirable. Sexy. And available. But not to me. I could never have him. But his ex-wife? When she called earlier, I was shocked. Even more so when Herb spoke so gently and softly to her, almost like he was caressing her. I was so jealous. Jealous of a woman who was foolish enough to leave him. Would she want him back? Would he take her back after all these years?

The next morning, I knew he hadn't slept. His eyes looked sad, his face drawn. 'How long can he last? How long can he go without sleep?' I wondered. I knew he hadn't slept a wink since his daughter was abducted.

It was just the two of us in the room now. He wanted to be alone; he'd given everyone jobs to do so he would be left alone. But I couldn't go. I had to say something. I had to do something. Show him that I cared. Show him that he could lean on me for support.

Herb knew I was still there. He didn't turn around. He didn't look at me. But he asked, "You have something to say, Maze?"

I took a deep breath and blurted it out. "I, uh, I thought maybe you might want someone to talk to." What a stupid thing to say! That's not what I meant to say at all! Oh, how I wanted to take it back and start over, again.

He looked at me strangely and answered, "What precisely would we talk about?"

"Well, I know that this is difficult for you, and I thought maybe...a friendly shoulder to cry on?" I couldn't believe I said that! I asked my boss, Herb Alterjot, the strongest man I've ever known, if he wanted a shoulder to cry on! What an asinine thing to say! "This isn't going very well, is it?" I added.

"You have a gift for the understatement, Maze," he replied.

I was mortified. I couldn't believe I had been so stupid! I knew he wouldn't let me comfort him. Why had I made a fool of myself? I tried to correct it. "Can we just forget about this conversation, Herb?"

"Already have. Close the door on your way out."

"How stupid can one person be?" I yelled at myself when I got back to my room. All I wanted was to comfort him. To hold him. To love him. No, that was a lie. I didn't just want to love him. I wanted to make love to him. I wanted to drive him mad with desire and lust for me so that he didn't remember anything else for an hour. Just an hour. Just to give him a respite from his worries. And I knew just how I would do it, too.

First, I lean into him and bury his face in my breasts. I stroke his bald...

"I think that is enough, Papà," Francesca said. She would read the rest of this chapter in her room, alone. She knew what was coming. Another hot and steamy scene in Maze's dreams. This, she did not care to read to her own father. To Harm, perhaps. But not to her father.

AJ sat on the sofa, totally engrossed in his daughter's reading. When she stopped, his thoughts continued in the same vein as her reading. His face was buried between Mac's breasts. She was stroking his bald head and moving her hands to pull...

"Papà!?" Francesca almost yelled. "Papà, have you heard anything I said?" she asked when AJ finally focused his eyes on his daughter.

"What?" AJ stuttered. "Yes, yes, of course, I heard you."

"Papà, did you even listen to the reading?"

"Hmm? Reading? Oh, your book," he stammered. "Yes, I listened. Good book. I'm glad you're enjoying it." AJ patted her feet and stood up. "I'm going to bed now, Darlin'. Good night."

Francesca shook her head. “He didn’t hear a word of it,” she mumbled to herself.

AJ headed for his bedroom and a cold shower. "Damn! Why should I take a cold shower?" he swore. He turned the faucet instead to hot and stepped inside. For the last six years, there’d always been one woman’s face in his mind's eye. Sarah MacKenzie. Beautiful. Luscious. Voluptuous. And completely off limits. “Except in my own mind. No damned regs are going to keep me from fantasizing about her!”

Francesca heard her father yell. “What did he say? It sounded like he said ‘Maaac!’. I wonder if he is on the phone with her? He must be angry to have yelled at her so.” Francesca went back to her reading, not realizing that she also heard the shower. Why would he be on the phone with Mac with the shower running? Francesca didn't know that her mind registered this fact.

Monday, 19 November 2001

1145 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm and Mac saw Francesca as she walked into the bullpen. “Francesca! Wonderful to see you, again. I see you made it in safely this weekend,” Mac said in greeting.

“Hello, Mac. Harm. Yes, I did. Didn’t Papà tell you so last night?” she asked Mac.

“Last night?” Harm asked curiously.

“Sì. Last night, on the phone,” she answered him, then turned to Mac. “You were talking with him late last night, yes?” Francesca asked innocently. Tiner had buzzed AJ to let him know his daughter had arrived, and he was walking toward them as Francesca spoke. “I heard him call your name; I assumed you were talking on the phone and he was upset about something.”

‘Oh my God! She heard me!’ AJ quickly said, “Francesca! Are you ready for lunch?”

“Sì, Papà. Where are you taking me? Someplace nice, I hope?” she teased. Her father always took her someplace nice.

“How about the Officers’ Club?” he suggested.

“That I will enjoy, Papà.”

“Let’s go then,” he said extending his arm to her.

“Mac? Why don’t you and Harm join us for lunch? This is okay, is it not, Papà?”

AJ looked at Mac and then at Harm. “They probably already have plans for lunch, Francesca.” They usually did. They seemed to spend more and more time together now that Brumby and Renee were out of the picture.

“Actually, Sir, we were just discussing lunch when Francesca walked in. We haven’t made plans yet,” said Harm, ignoring the look Mac shot his way.

“Fine. Then feel free to join us,” AJ said rather gruffly.

“I need to run in the ladies’ room first. I will only be a moment,” Francesca excused herself as she left the bullpen.

“I’ll join you,” Mac said, following her. ‘Great! Harm has to flirt with Francesca and the Admiral and I get to watch. Damn! Why can’t he get his hormones under control? Couldn’t he tell that the Admiral doesn’t want us tagging along?’

When Mac and Francesca entered the ladies’ room, Francesca turned and faced Mac. “You were not talking to my father on the telephone last night, Mac?” she asked bluntly.

Mac shook her head. “No, Francesca. I went to bed rather early last night; Harm and I had a very busy week in California, and I was catching up on my sleep. Are you sure he said my name?”

“Oh, yes. He definitely said ‘Mac’. But perhaps he was just thinking of... Oh my God!” Francesca exclaimed.

“What? Francesca, what is it?” Mac asked, concerned at the look of horror on Francesca’s face. But then the look changed into one of realization, and then delight. “Francesca, what?”

“I just realized. I heard the shower running. It had been running for at least five minutes, maybe longer. And then Papà yelled ‘Maaac!’ “ Francesca copied the way her father had called Mac’s name, but considerably quieter. She didn’t want him to hear her. “He was in the shower, calling your name.” Francesca looked at Mac, smiling like a Cheshire cat.

“Francesca,” Mac scolded. “No. You know that’s not true. Your father would never... He wouldn’t think of me when he was... No. Just no. Not possible.” Mac bent over and looked under all the stalls. ‘Thank God there’s no one else in here!’

Francesca grinned. “You think not? I think so!”

“I’m sure you’re wrong,” Mac tried to coerce her.

“I had just read a portion of a very romantic book to him. And he thought of you. I am sure of it, Mac,” Francesca said nodding her head. “And I thought he was not listening to me...”

“Francesca, don’t you say a word of this to anyone. It could seriously hurt your father’s career and reputation if anyone believes that. And I'm quite certain that you're wrong.”

“But why? It was private! It was at home. And you were not there.” Francesca stopped and studied Mac. “But you have been there. Alone with him.” Francesca smiled. “Mac? Are you having an affair with my father?” she asked point blank.

“No! Francesca, absolutely not! He’s my CO; that would be totally against regulations. No. Please don’t say any such thing again. It’s absurd. Your father would never lower himself to the likes of me anyway. Even if I wasn’t his subordinate,” Mac argued.

“What is the saying? ‘Me thinks the lady doth protest too much?’ “ said Francesca.

“Francesca, please. There is nothing between your father and me but a professional, working relationship. Just as it’s supposed to be. Nothing more. Now, are you ready to go to lunch?”

Francesca nodded. “Very well. I will not say anything to anyone, except to Papà, of course.”

“Francesca, please. Don’t say anything to him, either,” Mac begged. “We have a good working relationship right now. Please don’t make him feel awkward with me.”

Francesca didn’t answer. She pushed the door open and preceded Mac out of the ladies’ room. “Ready to go?” she asked the men who were waiting by the door of the bullpen.

When they got outside, Francesca suggested they all take one car. “Harm, you drive. I want to see the difference between your SUV and Papà’s.”

“Francesca, mine isn’t really an SUV. It’s larger than that,” AJ explained.

“But I still want to see the difference, Papà. You do not mind riding in the backseat with Mac, do you?” she asked as they approached Harm’s vehicle.

‘What am I supposed to do? Say, “No! I can’t ride in the backseat with Mac. If I do, I’ll want to take her in the backseat?” ’ he thought. But he said, “Of course not, Darlin’. You go ahead and ride up front. Mac and I will make out... uh, make do in the backseat.” AJ willed himself not to blush. As he turned to Mac, he noticed that she didn’t have the same control. She was as red as a beet.

They arrived at the Officers’ Club and were seated immediately. Harm beat AJ to Francesca’s chair, so he held Mac’s for her. After they’d ordered, AJ noticed Mac rubbing her hands lightly. He reached over and took them in his, turning them over to look at her palms. “I’m glad to see these blisters are finally healing,” he said softly.

“Yes, it’s taken a while, but they don’t hurt much anymore. The poison ivy disappeared a lot quicker than these things healed.”

“I’m sorry about all that, Mac. You tried to do me a favor and ended up hurting because of it. I wish it could have been more pleasant for you.”

“Pleasant? Admiral, you made me a wonderful dinner, bought me an absolutely marvelous new briefcase, and arranged for an automatic car for me. How much more pleasant could it have been?” ‘And the best part was the kiss!’

“Not getting blisters or poison ivy, for starters, Mac,” he replied.

“I thoroughly enjoyed raking your yard, Sir. It was my own fault that I didn’t accept the gloves when you offered them. And I’m a Marine. I should have recognized the poison ivy. That was just plain stupidity on my part. I just wasn’t concentrating on what I was doing.”

“What were you concentrating on, Mac?” he whispered.

Mac looked into his dark, searching eyes. ‘Could Francesca be right? Was he fantasizing about me in the shower last night? Oh God, if only it was true!’ Mac wasn’t sure how to respond. Should she tell him the truth? She made her decision to do just that. “You, Sir,” she whispered back.

Harm and Francesca were engrossed in a conversation of their own and didn’t even see the interchange between AJ and Mac until he’d been holding her hands for several minutes. When Harm realized what was happening, he interrupted them. “So, Admiral. What are your plans for Thanksgiving Day, Sir? You and Francesca cooking a turkey?”

Mac took her hands back from AJ’s grasp and smiled as she turned them over and over. “See? They’re fine now, Sir. Thank you for your concern.” ‘God, I hope Harm didn’t hear all that,’ she worried.

“Turkey, Commander? I don’t know about cooking a whole turkey for two people. Seems a bit much.”

“What are you two doing for Thanksgiving?” asked Francesca. “You could come and join me and Papà.”

“I’m flying out to California on Wednesday. Spending the holiday with my mom and step dad,” said Harm. “But thanks for the invite.”

“And Mac is going up to visit her little sister. So my dear daughter, it looks like you’re stuck with just your old man,” AJ said.

Harm quirked an eyebrow at Mac. This was the first he’d heard she was going to Chloe’s for Thanksgiving. How did the Admiral already know it and he didn’t?

“I am not stuck with you, Papà. I came here to be with you. I have missed you.”

“I’ve missed you more,” he countered with a grin.

Tuesday, 20 November 2001

1645 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

The Admiral walked through the bullpen to the break room. He was disappointed to find the coffee pot empty. “Damn.” He opened the refrigerator, and there was nothing there either. “Damn,” he said, again.

Harriett had watched him go in the break room, so she followed him. “Admiral? I’m sorry, Sir. I didn’t make another pot. Almost everyone’s already gone home, and I didn’t think anyone would drink it. I’ll be glad to make a pot for you, Sir.”

“No, thank you, Lieutenant. I won’t be here much longer anyway,” he said as they walked out of the little kitchen. “I just wanted something... What the hell is she still doing here?” he said as he looked up and saw Mac sitting at her desk working.

“Sir?” questioned Harriett, but the Admiral was already walking away from her to Mac’s office.

He didn’t even knock; he just opened the door and walked in. “What are you still doing here, Colonel?” he bellowed. Mac immediately started to stand up. “No, no…keep your seat. But aren’t you supposed to be on your way to Chloe’s?”

Mac smiled. “You remember I mentioned she might decide to go somewhere? Well, she did. She and her dad went to Disney World this week. Epcot and Pleasure Island are a bigger draw than I am these days,” she said sadly.

“So you’re staying home? Not going with them?” the Admiral asked.

“Staying home, yes, Sir. I wasn’t invited.”

“Chloe’s dad is still unmarried, isn’t he?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Stupid man,” AJ mumbled as he turned and left her office. Mac smiled.

A minute later, Mac's phone rang. "Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie."

"When did you find out they were going to Disney World, Mac?" AJ's voice came over the line.

"Sir?"

"You heard me, Mac. When?"

"There was a message on my machine when I got back from California on Saturday, Sir."

"Then why didn't you correct me yesterday at lunch? When I announced you were going to Chloe's for Thanksgiving, why didn't you say something?"

"Because I didn't want to crash the time you have with your daughter, Sir. And I knew Francesca wouldn't rest until she'd railroaded me into being at your house for Thanksgiving."

"Railroaded you? So you don't care to join us, is that it?" he asked, sounding almost indignant.

"Admiral, there's nothing I'd like better than to spend Thanksgiving with you," she said dreamily. Then she amended, "Um, and Francesca, of course. But you see her so seldom. It's not right for me to barge in on your time with her," she explained.

"You're not barging in if we've invited you, Mac. And if you'll recall, I invited you almost two weeks ago."

"Yes, Sir, you did."

"Well?"

"Admiral, I don't think it's a good idea," Mac hedged.

"Fine." AJ slammed the phone down. 'Damn! She doesn't want the likes of you. God, why have I let her get to me this way? It's not like I've never worked with attractive women before. I have; lots of them! But never have I had this much problem keeping control of myself. Keeping control? Ha! That's just it! I don't have control. None! Not when it comes to Sarah MacKenzie.'

Tuesday, 20 November 2001

2045 EST
Chegwidden Residence
McLean, Virginia

Francesca noticed immediately that her father was in a bad mood when he arrived home that evening. She had cooked dinner for him, and she knew it was one of his favorites: pasta putenesca. She made it just the way her mother did, and she knew it was good. Still, AJ had hardly said two words through dinner, not even commenting on the food. Now he was sitting at his desk, pouring over papers he brought home from the office.

"Is there something I can do for you, Papà?" she asked quietly, coming up beside his chair. "Perhaps bring you some ice cream? Give you a neck rub? Anything?" AJ just shook his head, not responding verbally. "Poor Papà. You had a very hard day, did you not? I am sorry. I will not bother you. But if you need something, you will ask me, yes?" She leaned over and kissed him on top of his head, then walked back to the sofa and sat down to read more of her book.

When the phone rang, AJ made no move to pick it up, so Francesca answered it. "Yes, hello?" she said quietly, trying not to disturb her father.

"Francesca, this is Mac."

"Mac! Hello! How are you this evening?" Francesca asked, noticing that her father's head jerked up when she said "Mac".

"Fine, thanks. How 'bout you?"

"I am just fine. How is your little sister? Are you calling from her house?" Francesca watched her father out of the corner of her eye. He was trying to appear uninterested, but she could tell he was listening carefully.

Mac was surprised that the Admiral hadn't told Francesca she wasn't going to Chloe's. "No, actually, I'm staying home this week. Chloe and her father decided to go to Disney World."

"Oh! Then you must come and join us for the holiday! I will not take no for an answer. You must come."

"Francesca, I don't think your father wants me to come. I'm sure he'd prefer to spend his time with you. He doesn’t get to see you very often," Mac tried to explain, yet hoping that Francesca would continue to insist and then Mac could give in.

What Mac didn't anticipate was AJ's reaction. "Francesca!" he called. "Mac doesn't want to come here. Don't press the issue and make her uncomfortable. It'll just be you and me for Thanksgiving. Drop it," he ordered.

Francesca looked over at her father. He was obviously hurt. 'So this is the problem. They discussed this earlier today, and neither will admit to wanting the other. Oh dear. How will I fix this for Papà?'

"Mac," Francesca heard her father's voice over the phone line. "Did you need something or were you calling to talk to Francesca?" he asked gruffly.

"I was... Um. Well, Sir, actually... Admiral, I'm..." Mac stumbled. She didn't know what to say now. And after hearing what he said to Francesca and now his tone of voice, she wanted nothing more than to crawl in a hole and die. "I'm sorry I bothered you, Sir. Good night."

"Mac, you're not..." but the line was dead. "Damn!" he slammed the phone on his desk. He got up, grabbed his jacket, and went outside. "I'm going for a walk!" he yelled back to his daughter.

AJ walked for miles. It was well after midnight when he got back to the house. "How am I going to explain this one to Francesca?" he wondered aloud. But he didn't need to explain. Francesca was already in bed asleep when he checked on her. "Thank God for small favors," he whispered.

As he crossed the living room to his bedroom, he noticed the book sitting on the sofa. He glanced back at Francesca’s room and decided it was safe to pick it up. He took it into his room with him and once he was ready for bed, sat up to read. AJ quickly found the passage Francesca had read on Sunday night, and he picked up where she left off, backing up just one paragraph.

First, I lean into him and bury his face in my breasts. I stroke his bald head with my fingers and nibble on his ear. Then I unbutton his shirt and slide it off of his chest and arms. I run my hands over the broad expanse of his chest and entangle my fingers in his chest hair. I’m living this now; it’s no longer a fantasy. Herb is mine, all mine. He wants me, and I want him. He stands up and rips my blouse from my body. I quickly unbuckle his belt and lower his pants. He hooks his fingers through the waistband of my skirt and pulls it and my stockings down in one fell swoop.

“Yes, that’s what I’d do. That’s how I’d take his mind off of his worries. Just for an hour. Oh, Herb. Let me love you. Let me drive you mad... just for an hour.”

AJ set the book aside. “Oh, Mac.”

Continue to Part 3