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Author: Ava Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: JAG and all its characters belong to Belisarius Productions, Paramount, CBS, Viacom, and probably endless others. Summary: The much-requested sequel to "Sarah's Rain": Mac and Admiral Boone get married! Author's comments: I've never received so many requests for a sequel before! So here it is; I hope you enjoy it. Characters' speaking parts are in double quotes ("text"); characters' thoughts are in single quotes ('text'). |
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Tuesday, 24 December 2002
1905 EST
Chegwidden Residence
McLean, Virginia
"Sarah, we're here," Tom said gently, rousing Mac from her slumber.
"Hmm?" she murmured, moving her hand from across his chest and running it down the length of his thigh.
"Come on, Sweetheart, wake up," he urged. "We're at AJ's house." Tom eased her away from him. "Do you want to just go back home, Sarah?" She looked up at him with sleepy eyes. "We can, you know. We don't have to stay," he told her.
Mac sat back and shook her head lightly. "No. No, of course we'll stay."
"You're sure? You feel okay?"
"Mmm hmm. I'm fine," she replied. Tom didn't look convinced. "Really, Tom. I'm fine. I just needed a little nap. I got it. Now I'm raring to go," she smiled.
He nodded. "Uh huh." He obviously didn't believe her.
"Hey!" she jerked up suddenly. "We're 5 minutes late!"
"We're fashionably late," he corrected.
"I'm never late, Tom. Certainly not to the Admiral's."
"Well, I'm sure we're not the last ones here," he said as he got out of the car and walked around to her door.
"The lights are beautiful," Mac sighed as she looked around at the Christmas decorations.
Tom ignored her comment and continued expressing his concern for her well-being. "Maybe we shouldn't go to the service. We'll just head for home after dessert when everyone else goes to the church."
"And miss Chaplain Turner's Christmas Eve sermon?" replied Mac. "I don't think so."
"We'll see. I don't want you to be exhausted so that you don't enjoy tomorrow," Tom told her as he helped her from the car. "And you don't want to get sick now either. Remember what the doctor said about that. Any illness between now and the third, and he postpones the final round of chemo." Mac frowned as they reached the front door. "And you know what that means," he whispered in her ear as the door opened.
"Admiral Boone. Mac, good to see you again. Merry Christmas!" welcomed Commander Sturgis Turner.
"Merry Christmas, Commander. You have door duty tonight?" quipped Tom.
"Appears that way, Sir," Sturgis chuckled. "Come on in."
"Thank you, Sturgis," replied Mac. "Is everyone already here?" She looked around the living room and saw just about everyone from JAG Ops.
"Harm hasn't shown up yet."
"See? I told you we weren't the last ones," Tom grinned.
"Tom! Mac!" exclaimed Admiral AJ Chegwidden as he made his way to the door. "Good to see you. Merry Christmas! Come in, come in."
Mac stepped forward and hugged AJ, kissing him lightly on the cheek, surprising him. "Merry Christmas, Sir. Thank you for including us, Admiral."
"Including you?" he barked. "Of course I included you! You're just on medical leave, Mac. You're still part of the JAG family," he smiled. "You doing okay? Should you be out tonight?" he said softly for her ears alone. She smiled and nodded. AJ grinned and then turned to Tom, slapping him on the back. "So, you're already rubbing off on her, are you? Making her late?"
"Hey, it's only 5 minutes," Tom retorted. "The traffic was bad."
"Yeah, but Mac's never late. Not until you happened along," AJ continued his teasing.
"Mac was late?" Commander Harmon Rabb said as he walked up the front steps, his arm around his date for the evening.
"Not as late as you!" quipped Tom as he eased Mac's coat from her shoulders. Petty Officer Tiner walked up and offered to take the coats, so Tom handed off both Mac's and his own. "Thank you, Tiner."
"Merry Christmas, Harm," said Mac, interrupting the banter. "Hello, Caroline. Nice to see you again."
The young woman raised questioning eyes to Harm as he swallowed hard. Tom and AJ tried to hide their grins. They both recognized that this was a different blonde with Harm than at the Christmas ball last Friday. Obviously Mac didn't. Harm's face starting turning red as he tried to introduce his date. "Uh, Mac, this is... um..." he stammered.
The blonde shook her head. "Leanne? Leanne Wilson? Remember me?" she said in an annoyed voice.
"Of course... Of course I do. Leanne. I'm sorry..." Harm rattled. "Admirals, Mac, this is Leanne Wilson."
Mac stepped forward and reached her hand out to Leanne. "I am so sorry, Leanne. I've been out of pocket for the last few months, and I'm getting everything mixed up. People, places, times. I do apologize for mistaking you." Mac turned to Harm. "I am sorry, Harm. Truly. I hope I didn't cause a problem. I'm so sorry."
Harm and both Admirals knew that Mac was laying it on rather thick. But Harm was just glad she was putting the blame on herself... maybe Leanne wouldn't hold it against him later on. "That's okay, Mac. I'm just glad you're well enough to be here," Harm said.
Mac unwrapped the scarf from around her neck and removed her hat, handing both to Tiner as he stood waiting for them. "Thanks, Tiner," she whispered, ignoring the small gasp from Leanne.
"Good to see you again, Ma'am," Tiner answered softly.
Tom heard the blonde's gasp and quickly put his arm around Mac's waist. "Sweetheart, you should be sitting down. You know what the doctor said."
She smiled up at him. "I feel fine, Tom. I'm just a little... confused, I guess. Oh God... who is that with Sturgis?" she said just loud enough for Leanne to hear her, as Tom led her to the sofa.
"That's Bobbie, Sweetheart. Congresswoman Latham." They sat down and he nuzzled her neck. "You were good, Sarah. But I can't believe you thought that was the same girl as Friday night," he teased.
She shrugged her shoulders. "They all look the same after a while, Tom," Mac replied, suppressing a giggle.
Leanne said quietly to Harm, "What's wrong with her? Nothing contagious, I hope? Look at her head! She's practically bald!"
Harm shook his head. "She wouldn't be here if she was contagious, Leanne," he replied almost caustically. Then a little softer, "Cancer. She's had the surgery; now she's having chemo treatments. They've been pretty rough on her. She lost her hair in November."
AJ called everyone to the dinner table and they took their seats and enjoyed their meal. During dinner, most of the conversation centered around Christmases past. Each person sharing a memorable, and often funny, event.
Just as dessert was served, Mac excused herself and quickly headed for AJ's bathroom, his bedroom being closer than the guest room. As she was leaving the table, Tom, AJ, and Harm all stood, ready to go after her. But Harriett said, "Let me go. I think she needs a woman right now." Tom looked anxious. "It's okay, Admiral. Please. I'll go. If she needs you, I'll call you." Harriett was almost certain that Mac wasn't feeling ill... just melancholy.
She entered the Admiral's bedroom and closed the door behind her. She knocked on the bathroom door. "Mac? Mac, it's Harriett. Are you okay? May I come in?"
Mac was leaning against the door when Harriett knocked. "I'm fine, Harriett," she gulped. "I'll be right out."
"Mac, please. Let me in."
Mac grabbed a tissue and dried her eyes before she opened the door. "You have to go, too, hmm?" she tried to say lightly. But her attempt at humor fell flat as the tears welled up in her eyes again. "Oh, Harriett!" she cried as the tears spilled down her cheeks.
Harriett reached out and folded Mac into her arms. "It's okay, Mac. You go ahead and cry all you want to. We all need a good cry sometimes," she whispered, edging them over toward the Admiral's bed. When she felt it bump the back of her knees, she eased Mac down on the bed, still embracing her. "It was all those stories about children, wasn't it?" queried Harriett as they sat together.
Mac looked up and nodded. "I'll never have a child, Harriett. I'll never hold my baby in my arms. I'll never see a child with Tom's eyes looking back at me... and calling me 'Mommy'." Mac's tears flowed again. "I'll never have those memories of Christmas morning with my children."
"Oh, Mac, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..." Harriett cooed to her as she held her best friend close.
"I can't do it, Harriett," Mac said after a couple of minutes.
"You can't do what, Mac?" Harriett asked, afraid that she already knew the answer.
"I can't marry Tom. I just can't. He deserves a woman. A real woman." Mac gulped. "A whole woman."
"Mac, you are a real woman. And Tom told you he doesn't care about having children," Harriett tried to reason with her.
"He only said that because he knows I can't have them. He had to say it."
"No, he didn't, Mac. He could have just been there for you during the surgery and then left. He didn't. He loves you, Mac. Anyone with eyes can see that just from how he looks at you! I don't think I've ever seen anyone look at a woman with such love. Ever!"
"Bud."
"Pardon me?"
"Bud looks at you that way," Mac said.
Harriett smiled. "Yes, he does, doesn't he..."
"How are you two doing, Harriett?"
"We're fine. Really. He's... learning to adjust to a new way of life. He'll get the new prosthesis in February. The doctor says that should be the 'real' one." Harriett chuckled. "And little AJ is having the time of his life with his Daddy home all the time. He loves it. And he loves playing gopher for him, too. He feels so important."
"But how are you two doing, Harriett? Together?" Mac asked gently.
Harriett smiled. "Much better. And I have you to thank for that, don't I?"
"Me?" Mac said innocently. "What do you mean? I didn't say anything to Bud."
"No. But you did say something to the Admiral. And he talked to Bud." Mac still looked innocent. "Oh, come on, I know it was you! I told you that day at the spa... and I happen to know that you had the Admiral over for dinner the next evening."
"Oh! You mean Admiral Chegwidden! And here I thought you were talking about Tom," Mac teased.
"Oh you! You're as bad as the Commander sometimes," she retorted.
Mac giggled. "You don't have to insult me."
Harriett joined in the giggling. "Now, now."
"So it helped, huh?" Mac asked, returning to the subject.
"Yes. The Admiral dropped by that Saturday and took Bud for a drive. When they got back, Bud was smiling. He hadn't smiled in a long time," she remembered. "Then the Admiral asked if he could take little AJ to the State Fair. Well, how was I supposed to say no to that? So they left and... well... Bud didn't even wait to get back to the bedroom. We did it right there on the living room floor!" she giggled again. "He never told me what the Admiral said to him, but I think I kinda figured it out. He told him that just because he was minus a leg, it didn't make him less than a man." Harriett looked tenderly at Mac. "Any more than your not being able to have a child makes you less than a woman."
Mac inhaled sharply at Harriett's words. She had succeeded in moving the subject away from her, and here Harriett moved it right back!
"Admiral Boone loves you, Mac. Don't back out on him now. You two are so good together," Harriett said softly.
Mac nodded. "I do love him so much, Harriett."
"So... you gonna tell me?"
"Tell you... what?" Mac asked, confused.
"Your wedding on Valentine's Day? You said it was even more romantic if I knew the reason you chose that date," Harriett reminded her.
"Oh," Mac blushed. "Well, umm..." she stammered.
"Oh, come on, Mac! You can tell me," Harriett prodded.
"We haven't been able to... make love... yet. Dr. Jamaleddeen said 6 weeks after my last round of chemo. Tom figured it out before he proposed last Friday... My last chemo is on 3 January. Six weeks after that is Valentine's Day. That's why he chose it for our wedding."
"Oh, my God! That is so romantic!" Harriett gushed, hugging her friend.
They heard a light knock on the door. "Everything all right in there?" Tom's voice came through the door.
The women got up from the bed and opened the door. "Everything's perfect," Mac said as she reached her arms around Tom's neck and kissed him.
Harriett's cell phone chose that moment to ring. Bud called to her. "Harriett, your purse is ringing!"
She scooted around the two lovebirds and answered her phone just before it switched to Voicemail. "Hello?" she said moving into the kitchen to take her call.
AJ rose from the table and said, "Well, I suppose we should be heading to the church. Wouldn't do for us to be late."
Tiner went to the guest room and retrieved the coats, handing them to their respective owners. When Harriett returned from the kitchen, she approached Tom and Mac. "I'm sorry. That was the babysitter. Little AJ is running a slight fever." Tom immediately put his arm protectively around Mac's shoulders. "I think it might be best if you... well..." Harriett stammered. "Oh, Mac, I so wanted you two to spend Christmas Day with us tomorrow!" Harriett's tears came quickly.
"It's okay, Harriett. Really. We'll do it next year," Mac said.
"You mean I'm not going to have to argue this with you?" asked a surprised Tom. "You're just going to agree to stay home?"
Mac smiled. "I don't want to risk my last round of chemo, Tom. I want it on the third. Not one day later," she said emphatically.
Tom grinned. "So do I, Sweetheart. So do I." He leaned down and kissed her soundly. "And I really think it would be best if we went on home now. There could easily be someone with a cold at the church," he reasoned.
"But I wanted to go to a Christmas Eve service," whined Mac.
"We'll watch the midnight mass on TV. How's that?"
"Not the same," she whimpered.
"I know, Sweetheart. I know," he cooed to her as he helped her with her coat. "Next year. We'll go next year... to any service you want, Darling."
Thursday, 2 January 2003
1545 EST
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac sat on the edge of the hospital bed. "I'm so sick of this place," she whimpered.
Tom sat down next to her and took her in his arms. "It'll all be behind us soon, Sarah. Soon."
"And I'm sick of being weak. And tired. And... and... bald!" she complained.
"Sweetheart, I've been sick of being bald for years. You only have to put up with it for a few months," he teased, running his hand up her back through the gap in her hospital gown. Mac giggled beside herself.
"Well, that's what I like to hear. Laughter coming from my patients," Dr. Jamaleddeen said, entering Mac's room. "And how are you feeling this afternoon, Sarah?" he asked.
"Ready for this to be over," she sighed.
"And it should be. Soon. Assuming everything checks out today, we'll give you your final chemo tomorrow and hope for the best," he said in a positive way. "I should see the results from your blood work within the hour."
"But when will you know, Doctor?" asked Mac.
"When will we know if there's any more cancer, you mean?" he clarified.
"Yes," Mac nodded.
"You'll come back in a month, Sarah, and we'll do another scan. I'll want to see you every month for 6 months. And then we'll see. We may be able to stretch your scans out to 3 or even 6 months then. But we'll just have to wait and see about that, okay?" the doctor explained.
"That'll be fine, Doctor," Tom replied, cradling Mac in his arms.
"Now, I need to check your vitals, and I want to feel your abdomen, too. So, how about your laying back on the bed for me?" the doctor requested.
Tom got up, and Mac laid down on the bed. When the doctor finished his examination, he shook his head. "You've got a cold coming on, Sarah. That's not good."
"A cold?" Tom repeated.
"No! I'm perfectly fine. No cold. No sniffles. No sneezes. Not even so much as a runny nose!"
"Sarah, your lungs sound a bit congested."
"No, they're not. They can't be!" Mac argued.
"I think it would be best if we waited a few days before..."
"NO!" Mac yelled. "No, please! Doctor, I have to have it tomorrow. Please!" Mac's tears sprang from her eyes unbidden. "Please... please..." she begged.
"Sarah, a few days isn't going to make that much of a difference in your recovery. I'll see about rescheduling you for next week. You can go ahead and get dressed," the doctor said as he left her room.
"Sweetheart, it's okay," Tom tried to comfort her. "It's not that big a deal. We don't have to get married on Valentine's Day. It's actually a little hooky anyway, don't you think?"
"No! I don't think it's at all hooky! It's special, and it was supposed to be OUR day!" Mac sobbed. "I'm not sick. I'm not!" she cried, turning away from Tom.
"Sarah, if the doctor says we have to wait for the chemo, we have to wait. And if you want to still get married on Valentine's Day, then we will. We just won't be able to have sex until the next week, that's all. It's not a problem. We've waited this long; we can wait a week longer than we expected."
Mac didn't respond. Tom could see her body shaking, so he knew she was still sobbing, though silently. When he tried to take her in his arms, she pulled away. He was at a loss; he didn't know quite what to do. "Honey, you go ahead and dress. I'll go pull the car around and be right back to get you."
"No," she said quietly.
"What?"
"No. I'm not leaving. My chemo is tomorrow."
"Sweetheart, the doctor says you need to wait."
"I either have it tomorrow, or I don't have it again," she choked out.
"Don't do this, Sarah. Please, don't do this to me," Tom groaned. "I love you. And I don't want to lose you. The doctor knows what's best right now, Baby. And he wants you to wait." When Mac didn't reply, Tom left the room. "I'll be right back, Honey."
Mac didn't reply. She just started sobbing again. She hated being this way. It was so unlike her. She was strong. She was a Marine! But this illness had completely drained her. She had no strength left. No pride left. How could she ever go back to being the kick-ass Marine she once was? Everyone at JAG knew how weak she'd become. They'd seen it first hand at the Admiral's house... in October and again in December. 'Well, they won't see it again!' she decided.
Then she thought about Tom. He'd only *really* seen her in this weakened state. Would he still love her? Would he still want her if she got well? Really well? And back to her old self? 'Probably not. Only reason he fell for me to begin with was because of his old fiancé, Sally. If she'd died from a heart attack instead of the same cancer I had, he wouldn't have looked twice at me,' she decided. 'Why didn't I realize that before now?' she wondered. 'Because I love him, that's why. I didn't want to realize it.'
Mac rolled off the hospital bed and tore the gown from her body. She opened her duffle bag and pulled out the clothes that she'd worn earlier in the day. She pulled on her panties and corduroys and then donned her bra and sweater. She slipped her shoes and socks on her feet and then picked up the phone. As she was calling for a taxi, Tom and the doctor walked back in the room. Mac quickly hung up the receiver before the connection went through.
The doctor immediately took in Mac's change in deportment. "Sarah, Tom just explained to me why you're so insistent about having the chemo tomorrow. I'm sorry; I didn't realize you had something so special planned based on that date. I tell you what. Stay here tonight, and we'll plan on doing the chemo tomorrow as we originally said. But tomorrow morning, if your lungs are still the least bit congested or there's anything else wrong, we'll have to postpone. But there's a chance your lungs will be clear by tomorrow. Tom says you've been very careful and haven't been around illness at all. So maybe we'll be lucky."
Mac didn't respond. She just stared at the floor.
"Sweetheart?" Tom said gently. "How does that sound?"
"No," she replied. "I'm through with all this. No more. If the cancer isn't gone by now, it isn't going to be because of one more day of chemotherapy."
"Sarah, that isn't true," the doctor said.
"Sarah, please. Don't do this," Tom urged.
She looked up at him. "You don't love me, Tom. You're only here because of Sally." Mac ignored the pained expression on his face. "You don't even know me. You know a weak, sick woman who needed you. Well, I'm tired of being weak. I'm tired of being sick. And I'm tired of depending on someone else for everything. I want to be ME again." She reached down and picked up her duffle bag. "And I'm going to be. Starting right now. I'm going to be the tough, kick-ass Marine that I... that I..." Mac faltered as her tears welled up in her eyes. She dropped the duffle as her hand weakened and she could no longer hold the bag. "Damn!" she cried.
Tom walked up to her and took her hands in his. "Darling, listen to me. I do know you. I know the tough, kick-ass Marine you once were. And I know you'll be that again. And soon. Sarah, it can't be soon enough for me!" He noticed that she had a look of disbelief on her face. "You forget, my dear... you were the JAG officer who charged me with sexual discrimination years ago! Oh yes, I know the kick-ass Marine only too well!" he teased, causing Mac's lips to turn up ever so slightly into a smile." But I also know the sweet, vulnerable woman that you are. And you're that always, Sarah. Even when you're a tough, kick-ass Marine, you're still a woman. A beautiful woman. And I want you to be my woman. My wife."
"What about Sally?"
"Sweetheart, that was over 35 years ago. Sally's gone. Let her rest."
"You don't think of her when you look at me? When you touch me?"
Tom shook his head. "No, I don't."
"Tom, are you sure? Really sure?"
"Sarah, I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I love you; it's that simple."
Mac turned back to the doctor. "There won't be any congestion tomorrow, Doctor. I will have the chemo on the third. And I will be married on Valentine's Day. And I will make love with my husband that night. Is that clear?"
The doctor smiled his indulgence. "We'll know in the morning, Sarah."
"Is that clear, Commander?" she repeated, this time using his rank.
"Colonel, if you aren't..." the doctor began, but Tom interrupted.
"That'll be all, Commander. Dismissed." The doctor looked oddly at Tom, but when he saw Tom's face, he realized he was being given an "out". Tom turned back to Mac. "Let's get you back in that lovely hospital gown, shall we?"
Friday, 3 January 2003
0800 EST
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland
Mac paced the room while Tom sat calmly on the edge of her bed. "When is he going to get here and start this stuff?" complained Mac.
"Sarah, your other treatments never started before 0900. You know that. Come on. Get back in your bed, and stop getting yourself so worked up."
The door swung open and Dr. Jamaleddeen entered the room. "Well, and how did everyone sleep last night?"
"Don't patronize me, Doctor. Are you going to okay the chemo today?" Mac barked.
He smiled. "Don't know the answer to that yet, Sarah. How about if you lie down and let me take a listen. Then I'll be able to tell you."
Mac was already climbing back in the bed before he finished talking. "Do it," she ordered.
Tom just shook his head. "She's in rare form this morning, Doc. Good luck!" They laughed together at Mac's expense.
Mac glared at the two men. "Now!"
"Yes, Ma'am!" agreed the doctor, grinning. He examined Mac again, as he had the prior afternoon. He listened to her lungs several times.
"Well?" Mac asked impatiently. The doctor shook his head. "No!" cried Mac, ready to burst into tears.
The doctor spoke as Mac cried out. "Don't hear a thing, Sarah."
"What?" she choked out.
"I don't hear a bit of congestion. What'd you do, order it to go away?" he teased.
"You mean...?"
The doctor smiled. "That's exactly what I mean, Sarah. We'll get the chemo started within the hour."
"Ohhh!" cried Mac as she burst into tears anyway. "Tom!" she reached her arms out and he quickly moved into them, then adjusted them so that he was pulling Mac into his arms.
"There now, Sweetheart. You see? Everything's going to be just fine," he soothed.
"Oh my God! I need a dress for the wedding! And... and... we need to decide where... and get invitations out... and..."
Tom laughed and hugged her tightly. "Sweetheart, do you want to plan our wedding today with a needle in your arm?"
Mac raised her eyes to his and smiled. "You'll have to write it all down," she ventured. "I won't be able to."
Monday, 20 January 2003
1330 EST
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia
Mac thanked the taxi driver as he opened the car door for her and helped her out. "You're going to wait, right?" she asked him.
"Yes, Ma'am. I'll be right here when you're finished," he answered.
"Thank you." Mac walked up the steps and into the brick building. The Marine guard at the desk was new and didn't recognize her. But before he said anything to her, she spoke. "Good afternoon, Sergeant. I'm Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. You're new to this posting, aren't you?" she asked, unbuttoning her coat.
He rose from his seat behind the desk and came to attention stance. "Ma'am! Yes, Ma'am!"
"As you were, Sergeant. I'm here to see Admiral Chegwidden."
"Let me just call upstairs for you, Ma'am, and be sure he's available," he said, picking up the receiver and dialing.
"That won't be necessary, Sergeant. I'll just go on up. I do need a visitor's badge though since I'm not in uniform today," she told him.
She pinned the badge on her blouse and made her way to the elevator. Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a familiar face approach the guard's desk. Stepping back out of the elevator to look, she called out, "Tiner! Hello!"
Tiner turned to look and his face brightened. "Colonel MacKenzie! It's so good to see you here, Ma'am. How are you feeling?" Mac had removed her coat and was holding it over her arm. As she switched it to her other arm, Tiner reached out and took it from her. "Let me get that for you, Ma'am."
Mac smiled her appreciation. "Thank you, Tiner."
"May I escort you up to JAG Ops, Ma'am?" he asked quietly. "You look mighty tired. Should you really be out like this?"
"Yes, you may. And thank you for offering," she replied as they boarded the elevator. "And yes, I am very tired. And no, I probably shouldn't be out like this," she continued. "But I have something important to discuss with the Admiral, and I didn't want to do it on the phone."
The elevator doors opened, and Mac and Tiner headed for the JAG Ops bullpen. As soon as people saw Mac, they immediately gravitated to her. "Colonel!" "Mac!" "How are you?" "You should be home in bed!" the exclamations came fast and furious.
"Colonel?!" At the Admiral's bellow, the bullpen was silenced. Mac turned around and faced her CO, smiling. "What are you doing here? And how did you get here?"
"Hello, Admiral. I'm here to see you. And I came by taxi," Mac explained.
"To see me? Hell, Mac, all you had to do was call me."
"I wanted to talk to you in person, Sir."
"Then I could have come to you. Mac, you're not well enough to be out in this kind of weather," AJ argued.
"It's just cold, Sir. They changed the forecast this morning. No snow. No ice."
AJ shook his head. "All right, people, back to work!" He looked at Mac. "Okay, Mac. Let's go to my office."
Once inside his office with the door closed, AJ motioned for Mac to take a seat by the fireplace. "What's so important, you had to come all the way down here? And does Tom know you're here?"
Mac blushed. "No, Sir. Tom doesn't know. I told him I was coming. But he..." her words trailed off.
"He told you to stay home," AJ surmised.
"Yes, Sir."
"Okay, Mac. What's on your mind?"
"Admiral, I asked you back a couple of years ago... when I was engaged to Mic... to give me away."
AJ nodded. 'Uh oh.'
"I'd like to ask again, Sir. I would really like for you to..."
"Can't do it, Mac. I'm sorry," AJ interrupted her.
Mac's jaw dropped. "I beg your pardon?" she choked out.
"It would be a little awkward, I think. My escorting you down the aisle and then taking my place next to Tom and Harm."
"Oh no," she breathed. "Tom didn't tell me who... I just knew that he had asked two men..." she sighed. "Now what do I do?" she sighed. "I guess I can just walk down the aisle alone. I mean you don't have to have an escort. Right?"
"So I've heard. But I've never seen it done that way, Mac."
Mac tried to smile. "Well, thank you anyway, Sir. I won't keep you. I need to get on home." Mac stood up and walked to the door.
"Mac, have you talked to Tom about this?" AJ asked before she left his office.
"No, Sir."
"You should," he nodded. "After all, I have known you a lot longer than I've known him. I assumed when he asked me, that you already had someone else lined up to give you away. That's the only reason I agreed to stand up with him. If he knows you were expecting me to give you away, he'll probably choose someone else to stand up with him."
"I suppose," Mac said. She was sure she'd mentioned AJ's walking her down the aisle to Tom. They hadn't really discussed it, but she was positive that she'd said something about it.
Thursday, 23 January 2003
1000 EST
Valentino's of Georgetown
Washington, DC
Tom and Mac pulled up in front of the prestigious bridal salon. "Look, there's Harriett's van," Mac pointed across the street. "You can go on to work, Honey." She leaned over and kissed Tom.
"Why don't you make sure she's in there before I leave. I don't want to..." Tom's voice trailed off as he saw Harriett come out of the shop and wave at them.
"Here she is," said Mac, waving. Tom was out of the car and around to Mac's door, opening it for her and helping her out. "Thank you, Dear," she whispered saucily as she placed a kiss on his cheek.
"Hey! You think that's going to hold me over until tonight?" he complained. "I don't think so!" And with that, he gathered Mac into his arms and kissed her soundly. "Better. Much better," he teased as he released her.
"Mmm, let's just go back home and neck!" Mac giggled. "Actually, I was trying to behave myself. After all, you are in uniform."
"Oh yeah," Tom said looking around. "Oops," he whispered, seeing another uniform across the street.
Mac turned to Harriett. "Good morning, Harriett."
"Harriett, hello," added Tom.
Harriett was smiling brightly at them. "Good morning, Admiral. Mac. You ready to choose a wedding gown?" she gushed.
"Absolutely!" agreed Mac happily. "Let's get to it!" She kissed Tom goodbye again, and he watched the two women enter the shop before he headed for his office at the Pentagon. "Harriett, thank you so much for taking the time off to do this with me today. Tom really didn't want me out on the weekend; there's just so many more people..."
"I'm thrilled that you asked me, Mac. Really, I am. People have been so hesitant to ask me to do anything because of Bud. And I can't tell you how good it feels to be... well... needed, again... by someone other than just Bud and little AJ."
Mac and Harriett began looking at the dresses on the mannequins in the window and around the front of the store. "Well, Harriett, I'll be delighted with any and all help you can give me with this wedding!" Mac chirped. The two women giggled.
"Oh, Mac! Look at this one!" cried Harriett, pulling out an exquisite gown in antique satin.
"Oooh, it's gorgeous," cooed Mac as she lightly fingered the detail on the neckline.
"Good morning, ladies. I am Lucretia Valentino. I understand you require a bridal gown, Miss MacKenzie? And bridesmaid gowns, also, yes? They guessed the woman who addressed them to be about 45 years old. She wore her jet black hair up in a French twist secured by a pearl comb. Her silver suit was elegant, yet simple; tailored, but not business-like... and fit her like a glove.
"Yes, that's right," agreed Mac. "I'm Sarah MacKenzie," she said, extending her hand in greeting.
"Welcome to my salon," Lucretia said, shaking hands.
"And I'm Harriett Roberts," Harriett said, following suit and extending her hand.
"I am honored that you chose me to assist you. I am certain we will find exactly what you are looking for." She noticed the gown that Harriett had shown Mac earlier. "I see you have already found one of my nicest gowns. It is beautiful, is it not?"
"Oh it is," agreed both Harriett and Mac.
"But not quite what you have in mind, if I'm not mistaken," Lucretia added.
Mac looked surprised. "How did you know that?" she asked.
Lucretia laughed lightly. "Your expression when you saw the gown was one of excitement, but disappointment. I made a logical assumption."
Mac laughed. "You're good."
"So, why don't we go to my office and you can tell me what you have planned for your wedding. Then I will know better what to show you," suggested Lucretia.
Her office was large, much larger than Mac expected. There was a 3-way mirror with a platform on one wall, a mannequin dressed in a gorgeous wedding gown in the far corner, and a naked mannequin in the opposite corner. Next to that mannequin was a rack of fabric in different colors and textures. Her desk was large and covered in sketches of wedding gowns.
"This is amazing," mused Harriett. "I've never seen anything quite like this," she whispered to Mac. Mac just nodded, in awe.
"Now, Sarah. Tell me first about your husband-to-be. Describe him for me," requested Lucretia.
"Oh, I have a picture," Mac said, rummaging through her purse.
"No, no. A picture does not tell me who he is. I want you to describe him. It is much better, believe me."
Mac giggled nervously. She'd never described Tom to anyone before. "Well..." she hesitated. "He's tall. About 6'2". He's almost bald... but then, so am I," Mac giggled again.
"Mac, your hair will grow back. Just give it time," Harriett said quietly, reaching out to take her friend's hand. Mac squeezed it tightly, and Harriett realized just how hard this all was for her. She looked at Lucretia. "Perhaps if I describe him for you," she suggested.
Lucretia shook her head. "No, no. Only a bride can describe her husband as she sees him. And that is what I need to hear. How you see him. Not a camera. Not a friend. You." Lucretia came out from behind her desk and slid a chair up next to Mac. She laid her hand on top of Mac's & Harriett's. "And if you cry while you tell me, that tells me even more." Mac looked up at her, surprised. "I tell you what. Let me start. I will tell you what I know. Then you tell me the rest. Yes?"
Mac nodded. "Okay," she whispered.
"Your man is in the Navy. He is an Admiral and he works at the Pentagon. He will be wearing his Mess Dress uniform, which is very dark Navy blue... almost black. Yes?" Mac nodded. "He is 6'2", as you said. He has hazel eyes and a fringe of hair around the side and back, and is bald on top. He weighs about 180 pounds and is very well built... very strong. Yes?" Mac nodded again. "Now, my dear, you tell me about him."
"You already know about him," said Mac. "What more do you need to know?"
"Aaah, Sarah. I know only the outward appearance. How can I know what to show you if I do not know what makes him special to you?"
The proverbial light bulb went on in Mac's head, and she smiled brightly. "Tom is so wonderful. He takes care of me. He loves me. And he never asks for more than he knows I'm ready to give. He never has." Harriett smiled along with Lucretia as Mac realized this for the first time. "He really never has. I've never known a man like him..."
Mac's thoughts drifted back to that day in August when he found her in Bailey's Tavern. "He didn't tell anyone. He knew where I was, but he didn't tell anyone. He knew I wanted to be alone."
"When was this, Sarah?" asked Lucretia. "Share your story with me, would you please? Tell me how you met? How you fell in love?" Lucretia had a feeling that this was a very special relationship.
Mac began her tale. "It started back in May. I had a physical... pap smear, all that mess. The pap came back abnormal. So I had another one. It was the same. So they did a biopsy. Before the results came back, I was sent out to Afghanistan." She turned to Harriett. "It was two days after Bud's accident that I found out the results. I'd barely gotten in to my office Thursday morning when my phone rang. It was the doctor's office. He wanted to see me that day. He told me about the cancer and referred me to Dr. Jamaleddeen. He confirmed everything the next week. He scheduled me for surgery on June 12." Harriett looked up, surprised. Mac grinned. "I cancelled it."
"Mac!" Harriett cried.
"So he rescheduled it to the last week of June. I cancelled that one, too."
"Oh, my God! Mac, why? Why did you risk that?" Harriett's eyes welled with tears as she remembered how betrayed she felt all summer. Mac had never called her, never gone to see her. She couldn't understand why her best girlfriend was avoiding her. Now she knew. And she felt guilty. 'I should have called her. My God, she was in such pain and I only thought of myself! How selfish of me. I should have known Mac wasn't avoiding me because of Bud. She would never have done that. I should have know that!'
"I just couldn't, Harriett. I wasn't ready," Mac tried to explain. "I hadn't accepted that I'd never be able to have a child." Mac lowered her head and continued, "I kept thinking I'd wake up and it would all have been a horrible nightmare."
"So you rescheduled to August?" Harriett prodded.
Mac shook her head. "July, actually. And then early August. When I actually had the surgery on the 29th, I'd rescheduled it 4 times. That was my fifth surgery date. I think if I'd cancelled again, Dr. Jamaleddeen would have given up on me as a patient," she giggled nervously. "Actually, I tried to leave that morning. Tom wouldn't let me."
"So you were already dating then?" asked Lucretia.
"Oh, no!" Mac exclaimed. "No, actually, Tom and I didn't like each other much. Or at least, I didn't think he liked me. I'd had to serve charges against him, and prosecute. I lost, thank goodness. But still, I don't really think he had a very high opinion of me."
"Okay, so when did that change?"
"Well, it was the week before my surgery. Friday night. Everyone from the office was going to meet at McMurphy's for drinks. I didn't want to see anyone. I was feeling pretty low, and I just... well, I was pretty much keeping to myself."
"Oh, Mac, I'm so sorry. I wish I'd known..." Harriett gulped.
Mac just shook her head. "I was pretty rude to everyone all summer. Most people just kept their distance, which is what I wanted... I think. Well, that evening, I went to a bar up the street from McMurphy's. And it just happened that Tom went to the wrong bar first and found me there. I let him know that I wasn't in the mood to see anyone. I was rude. He left. And then he came back a couple of hours later. I was still sitting there. He asked if I was okay; I lied... I said yes. Then I went to leave... he followed me out and then told me that Harm was going to drop by and check on me."
"I remember his saying he was going to do that," agreed Harriett. "We were all concerned about you. No one knew where you were."
"Tom knew. He didn't tell anyone though. I asked him why... and he said he knew I wanted to be alone. If he said anything, Harm would have gone down there. So he kept his mouth shut." Lucretia nodded, taking it all in. "Anyway, I didn't want to go home then. I didn't want to see Harm that night. Tom invited me to join him for dinner."
"He asked you out on a date in that condition?" Harriett asked incredulously.
"No, no... not a date," she shook her head. "Just a way to avoid Harm, actually. It would just be two people having dinner. And that's what it was, too. I even took my own car. Followed him out to a little town in Maryland on the water... Shady Side. We had dinner and then went for a walk on the beach. I kinda lost it for a few minutes and cried. He held me. Gently. He didn't pry. He asked if he could help. I said no. So he just held me while I cried. Then we stayed at a little run-down motel for the night..." Mac looked up at Harriett's gasp. "No, Harriett. We each had our own room."
"Oh," she replied in a small voice.
"It was such a quiet place... the beach, I mean. I loved it. We went back for a day in September," she said dreamily. Then she looked up and continued. "On Wednesday evening of the next week, Tom called me at home... just to say hello, he said. I talked to him for a minute or so and then... well..." Mac hung her head. "I hung up on him."
Harriett grinned. You don't hang up on a man like Admiral Boone. "How long before he was at your door, Mac?" she asked.
"How did you know that?" Mac jerked her head up. Then she laughed at Harriett's expression. "Oh. I guess if I'd thought about it, I'd have expected him."
"Uh huh," Harriett agreed, giggling.
"Took him 10 minutes to get there," Mac grinned. "And I guess I sorta fell apart. He held me while I cried, and I felt so... safe... with him. I told him I was having surgery the next day, and he insisted on driving me there."
"How were you going to get there?" asked Harriett.
"Taxi," Mac said, lowering her eyes.
"Taxi!? Oh, Mac..."
"I didn't want anyone to know, Harriett. I hadn't even told the Admiral. He thought I was going on vacation. I hadn't asked for medical leave," Mac explained. "Well, anyway... Tom came back early the next morning and took me to Bethesda. And he stayed. All day. He was there for me. I tried to leave before the surgery, and he wouldn't let me. I cried, and he held me. And just before they took me up, he promised to take me dancing," Mac smiled as a tear slipped down her cheek. "Then he kissed me," she breathed. "I felt like I was on Cloud Nine."
Lucretia was getting a lot more than she expected. A lot more than she usually did from a bride. But then, it was obvious that Sarah was actually sharing with her friend, and Lucretia was just a bystander. So she held her tongue. She didn't want to intrude. But she was narrowing down the dresses she would show this bride. It would have to be a very special gown, indeed.
"What happened after the surgery, Mac?" Harriett asked, reaching up and wiping away the tear from Mac's cheek.
Mac smiled at her friend. "He was there when I woke up. Every time I woke up. He never left." Mac's eyes welled with tears as she remembered their conversation. "I told him what kind of surgery I had. And he told me it didn't matter... that my ability to reproduce wasn't what makes me a woman. He said it was my soul that did that. And he said it like he knew. Like he really knew it for a fact. There was no room to question him," she said in awe. "I found out later that he'd been engaged once." Harriett's head jerked up. "It was a long time ago... a very long time ago. She had cancer, same as me. And he lost her. She died."
"Oh, my God!" cried Harriett. "Is that why he never married... he never..."
Mac nodded her head. "He blamed himself. I can't tell you more than that; it's not my place. It was very hard on him. But he's never allowed himself to be close to a woman since. Until me," she sniffed. "He's mine now," she smiled.
"Go on," encouraged Harriett. "What happened next?"
"He was so supportive. So encouraging. So tender and sweet. We, um... didn't even realize it, I don't think, when he started calling me 'Sweetheart'. It just sort of happened. And it felt so good, like he really cared for me. And he does!" she said almost not believing it herself. "He helped me call the Admiral to tell him about the surgery, he insisted that I go to his house to recuperate, and he helped me call Harm and tell him. And as the days and weeks went by, we just... we..."
"You fell in love," Lucretia said, reminding them of her presence.
Mac nodded. "Yeah, we did," she smiled. "Completely."
"And your wedding will be at Annapolis?" Lucretia queried.
"No. We want a small wedding. Only 2 attendants each, and no flower girl or ring bearer. And I don't really want 3/4 of that huge chapel empty. So, we decided on the church that Tom's been attending in Laurel. Oakland Presbyterian."
"Oakland? Ah yes, I knew a couple who attended there," Lucretia said. "They both died... on 9/11," she added sadly. "Left an adorable young son behind."
Mac looked up. "Joel?"
Lucretia looked surprised. "Yes, that's his name. Do you know him?"
Mac nodded. "Well, not me, actually. But Tom does. He was quite close to Joel's family. In fact, Tom sees Joel as often as he can. He takes him places... like the zoo, the park, that kind of thing."
"That's very good of him. He sounds like a wonderful man, Sarah. I'm very happy for you." Lucretia stood up. "Now, if you will be good enough to come over to the mannequin, and help me select. I need to know which colors you like and look well on you. And then we will choose the fabric. Then the style. And once we have your gown selected, we will choose the bridesmaid dresses. Yes?"
Mac and Harriett rose and followed Lucretia to the corner of the room with the naked mannequin. Lucretia pulled out several pieces of fabric and draped each of them in turn over Mac's shoulder. She put a couple of them back on the rack, but held 3 of them out. Then she pulled some more pieces and draped them over Mac's arms. She put all but 2 of those back. "Okay, now let's move over here," Lucretia said, walking to the platform area by the mirrors. "Sarah, you step up here, please," she said motioning to the platform.
Mac giggled as she looked at Harriett. "Okay." Lucretia held out her hand to assist Mac in her step up to the platform.
"Now, my dear. Which color of those 3 do you like the best?"
"Are they different?" asked Mac, a bit confused.
"Oh! I am sorry. Let me get the lights." Lucretia reached behind the mirrors and flipped a switch. The platform was drenched in brightness.
"Oh, wow! What a difference!" exclaimed Harriett.
"I'll say. They looked like the same color before," agreed Mac. "Which one do I like better..." she pondered. "I think... this one," she said, touching it with her right hand.
"Very good choice," Lucretia commented. "They are all good colors for you, but I agree, this one is the best," she said, removing the other two colors. "Now, which texture do you like better?" she asked, indicating the two pieces on her arms.
Mac looked at them, felt them, and then looked at them in the mirror. "I don't know. I like them both."
Harriett said, "I like this one better," touching the piece of fabric on Mac's left arm. "Oh! Wow!" she exclaimed when she felt of it. "That's incredible!"
Lucretia smiled. "China silk. You have excellent taste, Harriett."
"What's the other one?" asked Mac.
"Antique satin."
"I can't decide. They're both wonderful," said Mac.
"That's fine, my dear," said Lucretia. We have a color and 2 fabrics. Oh! The church. Does it have a center aisle or split aisles?"
"Center," Mac answered.
"Very good. Center aisles are so much nicer for a wedding," Lucretia smiled. "And your escort is your father?" she asked.
Mac shook her head. "No. I'm walking down by myself."
"What?" cried Harriett. "I thought the Admiral was going to walk you down the aisle. What happened?"
"Tom already asked him to stand up with him," said Mac.
"Oh, Mac. Does he know you wanted the Admiral to give you away?"
Mac shook her head. "I don't know. I guess not. But it's not a big deal, Harriett, really. I can walk down the aisle by myself. I mean, you and Chloe will be in front of me. It'll be fine. Really," she tried to assure her friend... all the while, trying to assure herself, as well.
Lucretia took advantage of the lull in conversation. "I think I have it narrowed down to a reasonable number of gowns. Let's go take a look, shall we?" She extended her hand to Mac to help her off the platform and they went back to the main part of the shop. 'Poor girl. To have to walk the aisle alone. No woman should have to do that.'
Lucretia pulled several gowns out from the racks and put them on hooks at the center posts. Mac and Harriett "ooh'd and aah'd" over each and every gown. But when Lucretia pulled out the last one, their jaws fell open. "Oh, my God! It's perfect!!" squealed Mac.
"It's so... you!" agreed Harriett.
Lucretia smiled. This was her choice for her client, as well. She always pulled her choice last, just to give all the other gowns a fair chance, as it were. "You like this one?" she asked.
"Oh, yes! It's magnificent," Mac purred.
"And it's the China silk," whispered Harriett.
"Yes, it is," agreed Lucretia. "Shall we go back to my office and let you try it on?"
Mac didn't even answer. She just turned and headed for the office, stripping as she went. Harriett and Lucretia laughed as Harriett picked up Mac's blouse from the floor.
Lucretia lifted the gown over Mac's head and eased it gently down her body. She walked behind Mac and zipped up the dress. "It isn't often that a bride can actually see the gown correctly when she tries it. You are the perfect size for this one," Lucretia commented. She helped Mac up to the platform again. "What do you think?"
Mac's eyes welled with tears. "I love it. I really love it. It's so perfect!" she gulped. "But it's not right. I need to keep looking," she said softly.
Harriett was surprised. "Keep looking? Not right? Mac, what are you talking about? It's perfect, just like you said. It's gorgeous on you!"
Lucretia excused herself. "I will be right back. You stay there. Don't move," she ordered. She went back to the front room and returned with a headpiece and veil in her hands. She stepped up on the platform with Mac. "Can you squat just a little?" she asked. "You're so tall!" she teased as she placed the headpiece on Mac's bald head. Then she draped the veil down her back. She turned Mac back to the mirrors. Lucretia stepped down from the platform and said, "Now. What do you think?"
Mac gasped at her reflection. "You can't tell! You can't see that there's no hair. It doesn't look like I'm bald!" Her tears started to flow and Lucretia quickly handed her a hankie.
"Mustn't get tears on the silk yet, my dear," she warned.
"Oh! No, of course not," sniffed Mac, drying her eyes. "Oh Lucretia, this is just perfect. I can't believe it."
"You are most beautiful, Sarah. It isn't difficult to find a gown for such a beautiful woman."
Harriett beamed at Mac. "Mac, you are gorgeous! Admiral Boone isn't gonna know what hit him when he sees you in that gown!" She laughed. "Neither are Harm or Admiral Chegwidden for that matter!"
"Harriett!" Mac scolded her friend.
"Well, it's true!"
