Thursday, 29 August 2002
2315 EDT
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland

Mac awoke and felt pressure on her hand.  She opened her eyes and found Tom sitting in a chair beside her bed, his head lying on their joined hands.  She smiled.  'Who would have thought that Admiral Boone would be the one here with me?' she thought to herself.  'Yet he's been so kind and gentle.  So supportive.  I wonder why he never married?'  Mac tried to adjust her position slightly and in so doing, Tom woke up.  "I'm sorry," she said.  "I didn't mean to wake you."

"How are you feeling?  Are you in pain?  Should I call the nurse?" he asked immediately.

Mac smiled.  "No, I'm fine.  There must be something in the IV, because I hardly feel anything but spacey."

Tom grinned.  "Good."  He had told the doctor earlier that he didn't want Sarah to have pain, to be sure that the pain killers were strong... he didn't want her to have to ask for them.  He was afraid she would try to be strong herself and not ask.

Mac looked around the room and saw the flowers for the first time. "Oh! What beautiful roses!" Tom stood up and got them, bringing them closer for her to feel them. "I do love roses," she sighed.

"I'm glad," replied Tom. He took the card and laid it on the table next to her bed. She'd find it and read it eventually. He'd actually prefer that she read it when he wasn't around. 'Probably shouldn't have written what I did to start with.'  

"I'm surprised that you're still here, Tom.  It's 2319.  Have you left the hospital today at all?"  He shook his head.  "Not even to eat?"  

"My yeoman brought me lunch and dinner," he informed her.  Mac's eyebrows shot up in surprise.  "I have a very caring yeoman.  She's really quite incredible, actually.  Can't do enough for me, and I'm usually an old grouch."

"Surely she's not flirting with you," Mac asked, slightly worried.

"Flirting!?" Tom laughed.  "Goodness no; I'm old enough to be her grandfather.  She's a very sweet young woman who loves people.  All people.  She's very concerned about you, too."

"About me?" Mac asked.  "She doesn't even know me."

"That's just the way she is, Sarah."

"She sounds very special."

"She is," he agreed, nodding.  "I've often thought I should promote her out of my office, but I hate to lose her.  "She's the best yeoman I've ever had."  

Mac smiled at his confession.  She also found herself quite glad that the girl was so young... 'too young for Tom.'  Her thoughts surprised her; when had she started thinking of him in that way?  "You should go home now.  Get some sleep." she told him.

"Next time you fall asleep, I'll leave.  But I'll be back in the morning," he said.

"Tom, you really don't have to..."

"I want to be here, Sarah.  But if you really would prefer that I not come, I won't. I certainly don't want to force my presence on you."

Mac looked up at him, trying to gauge his expression.  She couldn't.  "Anyone ever tell you that you have a great poker face?" she teased.

Tom grinned.  "Yep.  A lot, actually."

"I'd be very happy to have you here, Tom.  But I don't want you to feel like you have to be.  I'll be fine.  Really, I will."

"Good.  I'll be back in the morning, then."  

"Why don't you go on ahead now," she suggested.

"You kicking me out?" he teased.

"Yeah, I am," she grinned.  "Go on now.  Go away and leave me alone."  Tom blanched at her words.  They were so close to the same words that Sally had used.  He stood and turned away from Mac; he was losing her before he even had a chance with her.  He picked up his cover, his shoulders slightly bowed, and walked to the door.  "Don't I get a good night kiss?" Mac asked.  He turned around to see Mac smiling at him.  "I'll sleep better," she prodded.

Tom dropped his cover on the table as he almost ran back to her bed.  He pulled Mac into his arms swiftly, almost dislodging the IV tubes.  He covered her mouth with his and kissed her deeply.  He raised his head and gently laid her back on the bed.  "Good night, Sweetheart."

"It is now," she said dreamily.  

Friday, 30 August 2002
0730 EDT
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland

When Mac awoke the next morning, she was surprised to find Tom already there.  "About time you woke up, Sleepyhead," he teased her.

"Good morning," she drawled.  "What time did you get here?"

"0645."

Mac yawned.  "And they let you in?"

"Didn't give 'em a choice," he replied.  

Mac looked at his attire.  He was dressed in uniform, again. "You going in to the office today?" she asked.

He shook his head.  "Nope.  Wore this to be sure I got in here this morning."  He lifted a duffel bag.  "Brought a change of clothes so I don't have to stay in it all day," he grinned.

Mac giggled.  "You're too much!"

Tom sat on the edge of her bed.  "So, how are you feeling this morning?  Any pain?" he asked, cupping her cheek in his hand.

Mac nodded.  "A little.  But it's not bad.  I thought it would hurt a lot worse than this," she said as she nuzzled her face against the palm of his hand.

Tom smiled.  'I'll have to let the doctor know he did a good job with those pain meds,' he decided.  "Want some breakfast?"

"I'm not really hungry," Mac answered.

"You be sure to tell me when you are, and I'll get you something," he offered.  He moved his hand from her cheek and picked up her hand.  He raised it to his lips and kissed it.  "You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Mac inhaled sharply at his words and jerked her hand back.  "If you're going to lie to me, I'd rather you left."

Tom wasn't going to let her send him away.  "I'm not lying to you, Sarah.  You are beautiful."  She turned her face away.  "Yes, you are pale right now and you've got tubes coming out of your arm and your hair looks worse than when you arrived at Shady Side with the top down."  Mac looked back at that last and smirked, her eyes sparkling.  "But you are beautiful," he assured her.

A nurse walked in on his last words and smiled.  "I'd have to agree with the Admiral, Ma'am.  Don't know that I've ever seen a patient look quite so radiant the morning after surgery."  She winked.  "If I didn't know better, I'd say someone made whoopee in the last hour."  She glanced at Tom.  "I need to check her dressing, Admiral," she said, indicating that he needed to move.

Mac noticed that Tom blushed slightly at the nurse's words.  He stood up.  "I'll just step outside until you're finished."  And he almost ran out the door.

"Did I say the wrong thing?" asked the nurse, chuckling.

Mac smiled and shook her head.  "No.  Definitely not."  Then a nagging thought returned, 'I wonder who Sally is?'

The nurse finished up with Mac and noticed the unopened envelope on the table next to her. "Did you miss the card?" she asked, picking it up and handing it to Mac.

"Card? I didn't know there was one," Mac replied. "Thanks." Mac opened the envelope and took out the card.

For the most beautiful, sexy woman I've known in many long years.
Yes, Sarah, you are all woman; no surgery you would ever have can change that.

Tom 

Friday, 30 August 2002
0845 EDT
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Bethesda, Maryland

Mac finished eating a small breakfast, and Tom moved the tray to the side.  "That was awful," Mac said.

"Yeah, it looked pretty bad," agreed Tom.  "Don't know how to make coffee here either," he added.

Mac smiled.  "So how do you like your coffee?  Black, I know.  But strong or weak?"

"Strong."

"Marine strong?"

Tom chuckled.  "AJ would call it SeAL strong."

Mac giggled.  "You're right!"

"I'm surprised he hasn't called or come by," Tom ventured.  He didn't really think that Mac had even told her CO about the surgery, but he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt.  She *should* have told him.

Mac whispered, "He doesn't know."

"Sarah," Tom chided.  "He's your CO.  He should know.  What if something had gone wrong in there?"

"You'd have told him," Mac reasoned.

"But I didn't know about it until the night before.  And you hadn't planned on telling me."

"I know.  I'm sorry.  I just didn't want to tell anyone.  I don't want their pity," Mac said, tears forming in her eyes.

"Sarah, he's your CO and your friend.  He's not going to pity you.  He's going to want to help in any way he can.  Just like me."

Mac grinned, her tears subsiding as quickly as they formed.  "Just like you?  God, I hope not."

"What?"

"If he did, I'd have to bring him up on charges," Mac giggled.

Tom's smile spread wide across his face and reached his eyes.  "Oh you would, eh?" he teased, leaning over her and kissing her fully on the mouth.

"Mmmm, definitely," she mumbled as he moved his kisses to her cheeks and forehead... then her chin.  When he nibbled on her ear, she giggled again.  "I'm so glad you're here," she whispered.

"So am I, Sweetheart," he breathed as he claimed her lips again. Tom couldn't quite believe that he was becoming so attached to this woman. He hadn't allowed himself to care for a woman in so long. So very long.

When Tom finally released her and sat back up, Mac said quietly, "Would you call him?"

"Call who?"  Tom wasn't sure if Mac meant Admiral Chegwidden or Harm.

"Admiral Chegwidden," she said in a small voice.  "You're right.  I really should have told him.  He's going to be angry that I kept this from him."

"I'll call him.  As soon as you go back to sleep, I'll step out to the waiting area and call.  No reason for you to have to listen to his tirade," he grinned.

Mac changed her mind a while later.  "I should be the one to tell him," she resolved.

"Yes, you should," Tom agreed.  "But I'll do it if you want me to."

Mac smiled.  "I'll do it."  Tom handed her the receiver and she dialed the number.  But before it connected, she handed it back to Tom.  "I can't."

Tom took the receiver and spoke to Tiner.  As it turned out, Admiral Chegwidden was in a meeting with Commanders Rabb and Turner.  "I'm sorry, Admiral," offered Tiner.  "I'll be glad to have him return the call, Sir."

"Tell him it's important, Tiner.  Ask him to break for a couple of minutes," said Tom over the wire.

"Aye, aye, Sir."  Tiner punched the intercom and waited for Admiral Chegwidden to pick up.  

"What, Tiner?" Chegwidden barked.  He hated being interrupted.

"Admiral Boone is on Line 2, Sir.  He says it's important and asks that you break for a couple of minutes to talk to him, Sir."

"Okay, Tiner."  Chegwidden disconnected the intercom and punched Line 2.  "Tom.  What's up?"

"Hello, AJ.  Sorry to interrupt your meeting."

"Not a problem."

"I'm calling as a favor for one of your officers," Tom explained.

"One of my officers?" AJ looked up at Harm and Sturgis.  "Which one?" he barked.

"Sarah MacKenzie."

AJ blinked hard. 'Mac?' he wondered.  "Hang on."  He spoke to Harm and Sturgis, "Give me a few minutes, gentlemen."  AJ nodded toward the door.

"Aye, aye, Sir!"  They rose and left the office.

"Now, Tom, what's this about Mac?" AJ asked.

"She asked that I call you, AJ," Tom replied.  Mac bit her lip and decided she really should be the one telling her CO.  She motioned to Tom to give her the receiver.  He shook his head.  She told him quietly that she should talk to Chegwidden... and he finally relinquished the receiver.

"And why would she do that?" AJ was getting a bit impatient until he heard whispering in the background.  "What's going on?  Mac, is that you?"

"Yes, Sir, it's me," she said quietly.

It certainly didn't sound like her.  "Are you okay, Mac?  What's going on?" Chegwidden asked, immediately concerned at her weak voice.

"I had surgery yesterday, Admiral, and..."

"Surgery!?" he bellowed into the phone.   "Why the hell am I just finding this out?   And why are you taking leave time for it instead of..."

"Because I didn't want everyone to know, Sir," she interrupted.

"Mac, I am not everyone.   I'm your commanding officer."

"I know that, Admiral.  That's why I'm telling you now.  I should have told you before, but I just... I... couldn't, Sir."

AJ changed his tone.  "Are you okay, Mac?  Did the surgery go well?" he asked gently.  

She nodded, and he chuckled when he heard Tom say, "Sarah, he can't see you nodding your head."

"Yes, Sir," she answered quickly, rather embarrassed.

"You're at Bethesda?" AJ asked, wondering how Tom Boone happened to be there with her.

"Yes, Sir."

"I'll be there inside of an hour, Mac."

"You don't need to come, Admiral.  I'm doing fine, really."

"I'd like to see that for myself if you don't mind, Mac," AJ replied.  "I take it you'd prefer no one else know about this yet?"

Mac shook her head, sniffing back her tears.  Tom took the phone from her.  "She says 'No' to whatever you just asked, AJ."

"Is she really okay, Tom?"

"About as well as can be expected, the day after major surgery," Tom said.

"Major?"

"Very," Tom replied.

"How'd you happen to be there, Tom?" AJ asked, remembering the pantyhose Tom sent Mac on Monday, and not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

"Just lucky, I guess," Tom quipped. 

They hung up, and AJ yelled for Tiner.  Sturgis and Harm were still standing outside AJ's office, so he motioned them all inside.  "I'm heading up to Bethesda.  I should be back by 1500, but in case I'm not... Rabb, secure everyone then for the holiday weekend."

"Aye, aye, Sir," said Harm.

"I'll be on my cell.  If anything comes up..."

Harm interrupted.  "Actually, Admiral, if you're going to be in the hospital, cell phones aren't permitted."

"Damn, I forgot about that.  Okay... Rabb, you're acting until I get back."

"Sir, is there anything we can do?  What's happened?  Is it Mac?" Harm asked.

"Nothing to do at this point, Commander.  I'll let you know what I can, when I can," he answered cryptically.  He grabbed his cover and left the office hurriedly without answering Harm's question about Mac.

When he arrived at the hospital, the attendant at the front desk directed him to the OB/GYN floor. He made his way down the corridor and found Mac's room.  He stepped inside and heard Tom Boone's voice.  "Sarah, you look fine, Sweetheart."

'Sweetheart!?' AJ almost burst into the room until he heard Mac's weak voice.

"Oh yeah, like I can believe that coming from you," she quipped.  "I can't believe you didn't tell me to go comb my hair Friday night when we got to Shady Side."

'Shady Side?' wondered AJ.  'What the hell were they doing at Shady Side together on Friday?  Oh God; maybe I don't want to know...'

Tom chuckled.  "I wasn't looking at your hair."

'I'll just bet you weren't!  I know exactly what you were looking at,' AJ fumed.

Mac blushed.  "You were trying to figure out the fastest way you could dump me and pick up one of those sweet young things on the beach, I know!" she teased.  This time Tom blushed.  "Ha!  I'm right!"  They laughed together.  "That's why that guy at the motel looked at me like that!"  Mac laughed harder, even though it hurt.  "He thought you'd picked me up on the beach!"

'Motel?  Oh God...' thought AJ.  'Wait... this is the OB floor... Now wait a minute. Mac told me only a few months ago that she and Boone didn't get along that well; that they'd butted heads in the past. And now she's on the OB floor? What the hell is going on?'

"Okay, yes, that's what he thought... and yes, that's what I do out there.  But.." Tom started.

"But I spoiled all that for you last week, hmm?" Mac asked.  He nodded.  "Good, I'm glad," she said smugly.

He laughed this time.  "So am I, Sarah."  Tom leaned closer to her and whispered again just before he covered her lips with his, "So am I."

AJ waited for them to separate, but instead of doing that, Tom reached his hands around Mac and pulled her up into his arms and deepened their kiss.  AJ finally decided to interrupt them.  "Well, if I'd known you were in such good hands, Colonel, I wouldn't have rushed over here," AJ said as Tom and Mac jerked apart.  He watched as Mac's face turned beet red.

Tom laid Mac gently back to the bed and quipped, "You knew it, AJ."

"You're right, I did know it.  I just didn't... KNOW it," he added raising his eyebrow.  "Well, Mac?  How are you feeling?"

"I'm doing just fine, Admiral," Mac replied, still blushing.

AJ stepped up to the other side of her bed and looked at her closely.  "You need anything?"  She shook her head.  AJ pulled a chair up and sat next to the bed.  "So, Mac.  What's this all about?  Why didn't you inform me of your surgery before the fact?  You had plenty of opportunities."

Mac lowered her eyes.  "I didn't want anyone to know, Admiral.  I still don't.  But Tom convinced me that I had to tell you."  

AJ noticed that, though Mac was looking at him, her right hand was moving around trying to find Tom's.  When she did, she squeezed it until both of their hands were white.  "I'm not angry with you, Mac.  I just wish you'd have trusted me enough..."

"It wasn't trust, Sir.  I just..." she faltered, her eyes tearing again.  She changed subjects.  "You didn't tell Harm, did you?"

"Of course not, Mac," AJ said.  "Did you want me to?"

"No!" she answered quickly.

"He'll be upset that he didn't know, Mac.  That he wasn't here with you.  You know that, don't you," AJ told her.

She nodded.  "He'll get over it... when he knows everything."

AJ chose to ignore that statement... for now.  "Mac, how long do you think you'll be out?" he asked gently.  "You're only scheduled for next week.  Don't you think you'll need longer than that?"

"Next week?" bellowed Tom.  "That's all?" he asked Mac.  "Sarah, you'll be out at least 6 weeks, and then more for every round of chemo. The doctor may not release you for work until it's all finished either."

AJ inhaled sharply.  "Chemo?"  He looked back at Mac.  "Oh Mac," he sighed heavily.  "Who's your oncologist?  Dr. Sonnenberg is the best in the Navy, and he's here in Bethesda.  Is that who you have?"  She shook her head.  "I'll call him and get him..." AJ rose from his chair and slid it away.

"No, AJ.  Dr. Jamaleddeen is excellent," said Tom, standing up, too.

"Dr. who?  I've never heard of him!  Mac, Sonnenberg is the best.  Let me get him for you..."

Tom interrupted again.  "A little late to be switching doctors, AJ.  Jamaleddeen did the surgery.  Let him do the post-op..."

"Damn it, Boone!  Mac's going to have the best!  And that's..."

They stopped arguing when they heard Mac's laughing.  She looked back and forth between the two Admirals.  Her tears slipped down her cheeks freely.  "Thank you," she whispered.  "Thank you both, so much."  They both sat back down, this time AJ sat on the bed, and each took one of Mac's hands in theirs.  "Admiral," she addressed AJ, "Dr. Jamaleddeen is the best gynecologic oncologist around.  And that's what I needed."

"Mac, I'm so sorry," he whispered, now knowing the area affected... and most likely what she had removed.  "Did he get it all?"

Mac nodded.  "He believes he did.  But I have to have chemo, just to be sure."

"Mac, is there anything I can do for you?" AJ asked tenderly.

"Answer me a question," she said.  "Truthfully.  As a man."

He nodded.  "Of course.  What is it?"

"Would you ever want to be involved with a woman who couldn't have children?" she whispered. 

Mac held her breath as AJ looked at her sadly.  He reached his hand forward and laid it on her cheek.  "Yes, Mac, I would."  She didn't look like she believed him.  He decided to elaborate.  "And I have been.  You remember Laura Delaney?"  Mac nodded.  "She couldn't have children.  But I loved her.  I wanted her. And when her divorce was final, we planned to get married."

"I didn't know that, Sir," Mac whispered.

"I'll bet you don't know about Meredith either?" he asked.  She shook her head in question. He nodded. Mac knew he'd been seeing a lot of Meredith this year, but she didn't know her friend couldn't have children.

"You see, Sweetheart?" Tom inserted, "I told you it didn't matter.  Any man worth his salt isn't going to care that you don't have certain parts in there anymore," he gently patted her lower abdomen.  "That's not what makes you a woman, Sarah."

She looked back and forth between them.  All three were surprised to hear Dr. Jamaleddeen's voice.  "I'm sorry to intrude, but I really need to check my patient over.  Do you mind, Admirals?" he grinned.  The two men rose and left the room.  The doctor spoke as they were leaving, "My dear, you have quite a choice to make... between those two.  They both obviously love you a great deal."

Mac smiled.  "Admiral Chegwidden is my CO, Doctor.  The best one I've ever had.  The most caring... but God, he can be hell on wheels if you get him angry," she chuckled.

The doctor smiled.  "So that's Admiral Chegwidden, hmm?  The JAG.  I've heard a lot about him."

"He'd never heard of you," she quipped.

"That's good," the doctor laughed and Mac joined him.  "And the other Admiral... Boone, isn't it?" 

Mac nodded.  "He's a friend."

The doctor shook his head.  "More than a friend, I'd say, Sarah."

She looked up at him.  "How do I know if he's being honest with me, Doctor?"

"Honest with you?  You mean about not caring that you can't have children now?" he asked.  She nodded.  "You can't know it, Sarah.  You just have to believe him.  Take it on faith."  Mac turned and looked toward the window.  "I will tell you this, Sarah.  For most men, the older they get, the less important it is to have children.  I don't know your Admiral's age, but if I had to guess, I'd say he's in his mid-50s.  Not the best age to start a young family.  If he tells you it doesn't matter, I'd believe him."

The doctor finished checking Mac's vitals and her incision.  He replaced the bandage, and said, "Looking good, Sarah.  I think you'll be able to go home tomorrow."  Mac smiled.  "You do have someone staying with you, I trust?"

"Of course," she lied.

The doctor left the room and found the Admirals in the waiting area.  He stood in the doorway.  He wasn't one to usually eavesdrop on a conversation, but he made an exception this time.

Chegwidden was right in Boone's face.  "What the hell were the two of you doing in Shade Side, Tom?"

"Having dinner and a walk on the beach, AJ," replied Tom easily.  He wasn't at all intimidated.

"You took her on a date?"

"No, AJ, it wasn't a date.  I found her on Friday evening at Bailey's Tavern... avoiding all of you at McMurphy's!"

"You picked her up in a bar?!" AJ scowled. 'And why the hell was she avoiding us?'

"Damn it, AJ!  Listen to yourself!  Do you really think anyone could pick her up in a bar?" he almost laughed.  "Believe me, plenty of guys tried that evening, and no one succeeded.  One guy even warned me about her."  AJ did chuckle at that.  "She just needed to get away, AJ.  She knew this surgery was coming up, and she was hurting inside.  I happened along and invited her to join me for dinner on the water.  She even drove her own car!"

"That sounds like Mac."

"We hardly said 50 words to each other the entire night."

"Night?!" barked AJ.

"Okay... evening."

"I heard you talking about a motel."

"You heard?  You mean you listened!  You were eavesdropping on us?" Tom accused.

"Damn straight, I was.  Now what motel was this?"

"A dump in Shady Side, AJ.  She had a room.  I had a room.  When we finished our walk on the beach, it was almost midnight.  I didn't want to drive back, so I suggested getting rooms.  She agreed."

"And just when did you end up with her pantyhose such that you had to return them to her at the office on Monday?" AJ growled.

The doctor almost laughed.  Sarah was right.  Admiral Chegwidden did care about his people; he was acting like an enraged father, not a jealous lover!

Tom chuckled.  "You ever seen a woman try to walk on the beach in high heels, AJ?  She was still in uniform. She took her stockings off when we reached the sand.  She'd locked her purse in the trunk and she didn't have any pockets, so I stuffed the stockings in my pants pocket.  It was no big deal."

"The last I knew, you two weren't exactly friends. She told me only a few months ago that you two had butted heads in the past." AJ thought for a moment. "Come to think of it, I guess it was longer ago than that. Geez, it was well over a year ago... probably closer to two," he realized. "But when did you start calling her Sweetheart?"

Tom actually blushed slightly.  "That was kind of... unexpected," he said quietly.  Tom walked over to the window and stared outside.  "AJ, what do you know about her relationship with Rabb?"

"They work together.  As far as I know, that's all there is," AJ told him.

"Harm's never said anything to you about her?" Tom turned around and saw AJ shaking his head.  "Sarah says they're not in love.  But I'd have sworn that Harm loved her."  Tom's face took on a pained expression.

AJ knew that look.  'Well I'll be damned; he's in love with her.  God, that was fast!'  "Tom, you'll have to talk to Harm about that if you want the truth.  Tell him you want to know if it's a clear playing field."

Tom shook his head.  "Sarah's young enough to be my daughter, AJ.  What am I thinking?"

AJ walked up to him and put his hand on Tom's shoulder.  "You're not thinking, Tom.  You're feeling. You're falling in love."  Tom looked up at AJ and blinked.  AJ grinned.  "Couldn't find a better woman, Tom.  Forget about the age difference.  Certainly didn't look to me like it mattered to Mac.  Go for it. But you hurt her, and you'll answer to me," he warned.

The doctor finally spoke.  "Excuse me, Admirals.  I'm finished in there; you can go back in now."

Tom shifted his attention immediately.  "When can I take her home, Doctor?"

"I just told her she could expect to go home tomorrow... as long as someone will be there with her, of course."

"How long should she stay out of work, Doctor?" asked AJ.

"I'd say at least 4 weeks, Admiral.  I'd prefer 6, but I don't expect that one to listen to me," he chuckled, nodding his head back toward Mac's room.  "Took me a while to even get her in here for the surgery."

"What do you mean?"

"She rescheduled 4 times."

"FOUR times?" bellowed AJ.  "Just how long has she known about this, Doctor?"

"I met with her the first time on May 27.  Her own GYN told her about the cancer the week before, of course," the doctor explained.

"Damn," swore AJ.  "This has been it all along," he realized.  "Will 6 weeks be enough?"

The doctor looked from one man to the other.  "No, it won't.  The chemo will make her ill.  I'd suggest if it's at all possible that she be on extended medical leave for at least 6 months.  A year would be better... if you can get her to agree to it."

"Dear God!" sighed Tom.

"Won't give her a choice, Doctor," said AJ firmly. "I'll start her out with 6 months and we'll go from there."

Saturday, 31 August 2002
1315 EDT
Admiral Boone's Residence
Laurel, Maryland

Mac had argued the entire way to Tom's house.  She wanted to go home.  To her home.  But Tom was driving, so she ended up at his place.  "Sarah, the doctor said you have to have someone with you.  You told him you did.  Now, since I know for a fact that you don't have anyone there, and you don't have anyone coming to stay with you, that must mean that you were planning to stay here with me.  I know you wouldn't have lied to your doctor," he teased as he helped her get settled in the guest bed.

"Oh you!" she muttered, slapping him on the arm.

"Sarah, if you'd be more comfortable at your place, all you have to do is call someone to stay there with you, and I'll take you home," he assured her.

"No!  I'm not calling anyone.  I don't want anyone to know."

"Sarah, they're going to figure it out when you start the chemo.  You know that.  And it's going to hurt your friends that you didn't let them help you through this," he said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking her hand in his.  

She lowered her eyes.  "I don't want their pity, Tom."

"Why do you think they're going to pity you, Sweetheart?"  She shook her head.  "Is that what you feel for your friends when they have problems?  Pity?"

"No!  Of course not!"

"Then why do you think they'll pity you?" he asked.

"I don't know.  I just... I..." she stammered.  "I don't know."

"Well, if you decide you want to call anyone, feel free to use the phone.  I'll get the cordless and leave it right here next to you so you don't have to get up," he offered.  She smiled her thanks.  "I think you need to take a nap right now.  You must be tired."

"I am," she admitted.  

Tom leaned over and kissed her lightly.  "Have a good sleep, Sarah," he whispered in her ear.

When Mac awoke 2 hours and 43 minutes later, she looked around, not remembering where she was.  Then it came back to her.  'I wonder why he's doing this?  How could he possibly be interested in me? I'm not a whole woman anymore. Not really any kind of woman anymore. I wonder who Sally is? He says it doesn't matter that I can't have kids... that I don't have all of my "womanly parts" as he puts it. But can I believe him? What if he's just being kind while I'm going through this?  And who the hell is Sally?'  That kept nagging at her.  She saw the phone next to her bed.  'But maybe he's right.  Maybe I should call Harm.  I sure would be upset with him if he didn't tell me about something this big in his life.'  Mac reached for the phone.  She started dialing his number several times, but kept hanging up before she completed it.

"The last number is 7, Sarah," Tom surprised her from the doorway.  

"What?"

He smiled.  "Harm's phone number.  It ends in 7.  Go ahead and call him."

"Would you call him for me?" she asked meekly.

"Would you want another woman calling you about him?" Tom asked wisely.

She shook her head, "No."  She looked back at the receiver in her hands and pressed the numbers again.  This time she dialed the entire number and it started ringing.

"Hello?" she heard his voice, but she didn't respond.  "Hello?" he said again.  Then she heard him push a button.  "Admiral Boone?" he asked.  

'Damn!  Caller ID,' Mac realized.  "No.  It's me.  Mac."

"Mac?"

"Uh huh."

"You okay?  You sound kinda funny."

"I'm okay, Harm.  I just... I wanted to..." she sighed.  "Tom, please..." she whispered urgently.  "I can't do this."  Her eyes filled with tears.

"You can't do what, Mac?" asked Harm.

"It's okay, Sarah," Tom moved to her side and sat on the bed, taking the phone from her.  "Hang on a minute, Harm," he said in the receiver before he laid it on the bed... face up, enabling Harm to hear his words to Mac.  "Sarah," he turned his attention back to Mac, "He loves you.  You're his friend.  None of that's going to change."

"I don't want his pity," she gulped.

"He's not going to pity you, Sweetheart.  He's going to want to help you.  Be there for you.  But he's not going to pity you.  I know Harm.  He's better than that," Tom told her.

Mac nodded.  "Okay."  She put her hand out for the phone and Tom handed it to her.  "Harm?  You still there?"

"I'm here, Mac.  What's going on?  Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Harm."

"You said that before and then you weren't.  What are you doing at Admiral Boone's house, Mac?"

"He's taking care of me."

"Taking care of you?  What do you mean?" Harm asked urgently.  "What's wrong with you?"

"I had surgery on Thursday, Harm."

"It was you?!  Mac, why didn't you say something?  Why didn't you tell me?" he sounded hurt.  "Why didn't the Admiral tell me?"

"I asked him not to.  I didn't tell him until Friday.  And I'm telling you now, Harm."

"Okay," he reasoned.  'Don't get her upset, Rabb,' he told himself.  "What kind of surgery, Mac?"

"Cancer," she whispered.

"Oh, God," Harm breathed.  "Mac, why didn't you tell me?  You shouldn't have had to go through this alone."

"I wasn't alone, Harm.  Tom was with me," she told him.

Harm was taken aback.  He considered Tom Boone a friend. He'd been Harm's father's best friend.  But he never mentioned being involved with Mac.  Hell, as far as Harm knew, Mac and Tom hardly knew each other!  Then he remembered the pantyhose.  'Obviously they DO know each other!' he realized.

"Harm?" Mac asked weakly.  "Are you still there?"

"Yeah, Mac, I'm here.  So you and Admiral Boone are... together, hmm?" asked Harm, trying not to sound upset.

"Not really."

"Mac..."

"Harm, could you come out here?  I'd like to talk to you, but I really can't do this over the phone.  Please?"  She almost sounded desperate... like she was begging.  Very unlike his kick-ass Marine.

"Sure, Mac.  When?"

"Whenever you can."

"Okay.  Is Boone still there?"

"Yes."

"Let me talk to him."

Mac handed the receiver to Tom.  "He wants to talk to you."

Tom took the phone from her, kissed her on the forehead, and said, "You get some more sleep, Sweetheart."  She smiled her acquiescence and he left the room.

"Hello, Harm," Tom said as he closed her door.

"Admiral."

"It's Tom, Harm.  This is personal," he corrected him.

"When did you and Mac get so close?" Harm asked immediately.

"Why don't you come on over, Harm?  Sarah wants to talk to you."

"You had her yet?" Harm choked out.

"That is none of your business," Tom replied.  Harm slammed the receiver down, disconnecting the call.  "Well, I wonder if that means he's coming over or not?" Tom thought aloud.  "Sure sounded like a jealous lover, too.  Oh God, this is gonna be rough."

Harm arrived about an hour later.  Tom heard him drive up, so before he reached the house, Tom was outside to meet him.  He didn't want Mac to hear their conversation; he had a bad feeling it was going to get ugly. "Harm."

"Tom."

"Harm, are you in love with her?" he asked bluntly.

Harm cleared his throat.   "I love Mac.  Yes.  Very much."

"That's not what I asked, Harm.  I know you love her.  But are you in love with her?"  Harm didn't answer.  "Sarah doesn't think you are.  Neither does AJ.  And AJ is usually pretty much on target for things like that.  I still decided I had to ask you myself."

"What difference does it make?  You've already moved on her," Harm said cruelly.

"No, Harm, I haven't.  As far as I knew, she belonged to you.  That's the only reason I even concerned myself with her last week to start with.  Because you loved her.  And I didn't want anything to happen to your girl."

"Then what...?" Harm faltered.  He hadn't expected this.

"Yes, Harm, I'm falling for her.  Hard and fast.  But if you tell me that you want her, I'll back off. You were there first. It wouldn't be right for me to..."

"Mac isn't a one-nighter, Tom.  She's..."

"You think I don't know that?" Tom spat.  "You think she'd be here in my home if I thought that?"

"You're talking... love?" Harm asked.  Tom nodded.  "I've never known you to...  I didn't think you ever..."

"It's been a lot of years, Harm.  Since before your father disappeared.  But that's not the subject here.  Are you in love with Sarah?" he pressed.

Harm thought for a few moments before answering. "I love Mac dearly... as a friend.   My best friend.   But no, I'm not in love with her.  If you want her, go for it.  I'll support you."

"You're absolutely certain?"  

Harm nodded.  "You're sure about this, Tom?  Mac is a lot younger than you.  She wants kids, you know."

Tom looked up at him sharply.  "Do not mention kids to her."

Harm chuckled.  "Don't worry, Tom.  She'll mention them to you!"

Tom shook his head.  "No she won't.  Not now," he said sadly.

"No," Harm breathed.  "You don't mean... her surgery... the cancer..." Harm couldn't finish his thoughts, they came so fast.  "Oh God, Mac!"

"She's afraid you'll pity her, Harm.  And the others, too.  That's why she wouldn't tell anyone," Tom explained as they headed for the house.

Tom eased Mac's door open and saw her eyes just fluttering open.  "Hello there, Beautiful," he said softly reaching the side of her bed.

Mac smiled.  "You're not supposed to call a man 'beautiful', you know.  'Handsome' is the proper word," she teased as she saw Harm follow Tom into the room.

"I meant you, and you know it," Tom said.

"Hello, Harm," Mac said, smiling, reaching her arms out for a hug.

Harm obliged. "Mac.  How are you feeling?" he asked as he sat on the bed.

Tom said, "I'll leave you two alone."  He looked at Mac.  "You call me if you need anything."  Then he looked at Harm.  "Don't let her get up."  With that, Tom closed the door behind him.

"So this is what's been eating at you all summer, hmm?" Harm asked.  Mac nodded.  "I wish you'd told me, Mac.  But I seem to remember I had some surgery back a few years ago and didn't share that with you either.  Tit for tat, hmm?"

"I didn't even think of that," she answered truthfully.  Then she grinned. "Well, good!  Now I don't feel so guilty about not telling you," she teased.

"Mac, you shouldn't feel guilty anyway.  But I am glad Tom was there for you.  Some day you'll have to tell me how that all came about," he grinned.  "Or I'll just get it out of him at his bachelor's party!" he teased.

"Harm," Mac said seriously.  "I don't think that will ever happen.  Tom is helping me through a difficult time, but he's not really interested in me as a woman."

"The hell he isn't!" Harm cried.  "He just accosted me outside, grilling me about whether I was in love with you.  He didn't want to move in on my territory.  He's definitely interested, Mac.  Most definitely."

Mac couldn't help it; she smiled broadly. "Really?"  Harm nodded. Taking a deep breath, she said, "Do you know much about him, Harm?"

"I only know his recent past.  Mom knows his early years... when he and my dad were close.  I guess the years in between are an unknown."  He looked down at Mac.  "What do you want to know?"

"Sally."

"What?"

"I want to know about Sally."

"Who's that?"

"I don't know, Harm.  But Tom called me Sally a couple of times.  I don't want to fall for someone who's in love with someone else."

"Are you falling for him, Mac?"

She nodded. "I've tried not to. But he's so kind and gentle. He's been so considerate of me. I'm not having a lot of luck keeping my heart from reacting.

"Mac, as far as I know, Tom Boone has never been involved with anyone.  One-night stands is all I've ever known him to have."

"You know about those?" Mac asked, surprised.

Harm grinned.  "Yeah.  He got drunk one night and spilled the beans."

Mac smiled.  Then she looked pensive, "I guess I'll have to ask him about her myself."

"Why don't I ask Mom first, Mac?  She may know about this Sally person. Here, I'll call her now," he suggested, pulling out his cell phone.  When she answered, Harm said, "Hi, Mom!"

"Harmon!  Two calls in less than a week?  Oh dear... is it Mac?  Is she okay?"

"Yes, Mac is doing okay, Mom.  You were right, it was a medical problem, and she called for me today."

"Oh good.  I do hope she's all right."

"Yeah, Mom, listen.  Tom Boone.  What do you know about him and a woman named Sally?  Anything?"

His mother gasped over the phone.  "Sally?  How do you know about Sally?" she whispered.

Harms eyes widened at his mother's reaction.  "Tom called Mac 'Sally' a couple of times, Mom.  She wants to know who Sally is."

"Was," his mother corrected.  "Who Sally was."

"She's dead?"

"For 35 years, Harm."  Trish proceeded to tell her son about Sally... not in any great detail... just that she was Tom's fiancé and that she died from cancer while Tom was aboard a carrier.  "After she died, he swore that he'd never allow himself to fall in love again.  He blamed himself for her death."

"Thanks, Mom," Harm said quietly.

"Harm, Tom Boone was a fine young man. He took Sally's death hard. Very hard. Your father said he became quite the daredevil after she died... almost as if he didn't care whether he survived."

"I know how that goes, Mom."

"Honey, do you think Tom is interested in Mac? Is that why you're calling?"

"Yes, Mom, he is."

"Oh dear. Harm, you need to tell him that you have a prior claim. Tom will respect that. He's not a man..."

"Mom, it's okay. Really. That's not a problem. Listen, I'll talk to you later."  He pressed the Off button and laid the phone down.

"Harm?" Mac prodded.

"They were engaged, Mac.  She died 35 years ago."

"How?"

Harm looked her in the eyes and said quietly, "Cancer."

Mac gasped.  "Oh, God!"

Continue to Part 4.