Friday, 8 February 2002
1345 EST
JAG Headquarters 
Falls Church, Virginia

AJ pushed away from his desk and walked out into the bullpen.  He headed for the break room and found Harriett making a pot of coffee.  Mac was standing there waiting to get a fresh cup.  "I don't suppose there's anything to eat in here, is there?" AJ asked.

"To eat, Sir?  Did you not get any lunch?" asked Harriett, concerned.

"No," he replied, opening the refrigerator door and peering inside.  "Lisa and I were supposed to go to lunch together.  I guess I should have known they wouldn't be back in time.  But I did think they'd be back by now."

"Admiral, why don't I run out and get you something?  It won't take but 20 minutes," offered Harriett.

"No, that's not necessary, Lieutenant.  I appreciate the offer, but..."

"It's no trouble at all, Sir."

"No, I'm sure that Lisa will be back soon.  She'll probably even bring something for me.  I would like a cup of that coffee when it finishes, though."

"I'll bring it to you, Admiral," Harriett told him.

'Well, I guess I've been dismissed.  Can't even stand around and gab when I want to.  Damn,' AJ thought to himself.  "Thank you, Harriett."  He started back to his office when he saw Lisa and Grace exiting the elevator.  He waited until they came into the bullpen.  "Well, you're back!  Have fun shopping?" he asked.

Lisa gushed, "Yes!  Uncle AJ, Grace is so much fun to shop with!  And to gab with!!" she giggled.

AJ smiled.  "You did take time to get something for lunch, I trust?"

"Uh huh.  We had pizza.  And we went..." Lisa went on with her description of their shopping excursion.  

As she was talking, Harriett stopped at the Admiral's side, handed him a mug of coffee, and whispered, "I'll be back in 20 minutes, Sir."

AJ nodded to her.  "Thank you, Harriett."  AJ had moved Lisa and Grace into his office by the time Harriett returned with his lunch.  She knocked on the door and he called, "Enter!"

Harriett walked in and set his lunch on his desk.  "Would you like another cup of coffee with your lunch, Admiral?  Or would you prefer a soft drink?"

"A Coke will be fine, Harriett.  Thanks, again," AJ replied.

"Uncle AJ!  You haven't eaten yet?  It's after 2:00!" exclaimed Lisa.  "Were you in a meeting all morning?"

He didn't reply; he just opened the bag and took the sandwich out.  As he unwrapped it, he said to Grace, "I hope you'll forgive my eating while you two talk."

Harriett came back in the office with a can of soda and a glass of ice.  She popped the top on the Coke can and poured the soft drink over the ice.  "Here you are, Sir.  Can I get you anything else, Admiral?"

AJ looked up at Harriett and smiled.  "This is more than enough, Harriett.  I appreciate it."

AJ ate his lunch as Lisa and Grace related to him their escapades of the morning.  Grace began to feel very on edge.  AJ was obviously out of sorts.  'I wonder why?  Did I keep Lisa out too long?  Does he just not want me here at all?  Maybe I should excuse myself and leave now.'  Grace stood up.  "Well, I think it's time I headed out of here.  I don't want to keep you from your work, Admiral.  And Lisa, you mentioned that you need to get on the road pretty soon.  So I'll say goodbye."  

"Wait, I'll go down with you," said Lisa, as she and AJ also stood.  "Uncle AJ, I'd better get going.  Thanks for everything.  I'm really sorry about the scene I made this morning.  I know there isn't anything between you and Mom.  I guess I was just hoping.  I want Mom to be happy.  And I want you to be happy.  I wish you could be happy together, but... Well, I understand."  She stood on her tiptoes and kissed AJ on the cheek.  "Enjoy your evening tonight," she whispered.

He looked at her rather surprised.  "It'll be a boring one, Darlin'.  Just me and my briefcase, as usual."

"But I thought..." she started.  He shook his head.  Lisa looked at Grace and back at AJ.  "But why?  I thought you liked her?"

"It isn't appropriate, Darlin'," said AJ.

"But Grace changed..."

"Drop it, Lisa," he ordered.  "I'm glad you enjoyed your shopping excursion," AJ said to Grace.  Grace nodded mutely.  "Good."  AJ opened his office door.  "Tiner will see you out."  AJ pulled Lisa into a brief hug.  "Goodbye, Lisa."

"Uncle AJ, is something wrong?" she whispered to him.

He shook his head.  "No.  I just have a lot of work to do."  AJ faked a grin and tapped Lisa on the nose.  "Drive carefully."  He turned and went back in his office and closed the door.  "Damn!" he yelled.

Grace and Lisa heard him and stopped in their tracks.  They turned and looked at each other and back at AJ's door.  "What was that for?" Lisa asked.

"Nothing unusual," said Harriett, who happened to be next to them in the bullpen as they stopped.  "He's often a little annoyed when he gets stood up for a lunch date."

"He got stood up?" asked Grace incredulously.  

"Oh my God!  You mean me, don't you?  Uncle AJ was going to take me out for lunch today.  We were going to the Officers' Club," said Lisa.

"You never said anything about having lunch plans, Lisa," chided Grace.  "We could easily have come back..."

"I forgot.  I got so in to what we were doing, I just..."

Grace turned to Harriett.  "That's why you went and got him lunch when we got back?" asked Grace.

Harriett nodded.  "That would be correct."

Lisa went back to AJ's office and opened the door quietly; she was very unhappy with herself, and she wanted to apologize... she was also a little afraid considering AJ's explosion.  AJ was standing at the window, talking on the speakerphone.  It had rung just after he exploded, and he pushed the speaker button in anger.  Now he spoke gently.  Softly.  "Of course we can, Meryl.  When are you due home, again?"

"Not for another 2 months, AJ."

Lisa recognized her mother's voice on the speaker.  She almost said something, but when she heard  AJ's next words, she decided against it.  Grace walked up behind her and Lisa motioned for her to be quiet.

"Maybe I can finagle a trip out there to you," AJ said.

"I'd like that," Meryl whispered.

"Meryl, are you sure you want to do this?  Have this kind of relationship with me?  I'm not the best catch, you know," AJ said, still facing out the window and not realizing that Lisa and Grace were standing in the doorway listening.

"Oh, but you are, AJ.  Don't you know that you're one of the most eligible bachelors in DC?" Meryl laughed lightly.

AJ laughed outright.  "Me?  Ha!  I don't think so, Meryl.  If I was, I wouldn't have so much trouble finding someone to go to dinner with.  I finally get a date, and she cancels on me.  Hell, both of 'em.  I was stood up for lunch today and cancelled for dinner.  God, I must have rabies or something," he muttered.

Lisa reached for Grace's hand and squeezed it.  Grace put her arm around Lisa's shoulders.

"AJ, you know I'm not ready for a committed relationship.  But I won't stand you up.  You could come out here for the weekend," she suggested.  "I can arrange a transport, AJ.  If you left there this afternoon, you'd be here by morning.  And we could spend the entire day together... in my cabin."

"Now that is an idea," AJ said.  Then he thought better of it.  "Damn.  No... I'm on call for the SecNav this weekend."

"Maybe next weekend then?"

"We'll see, Meryl.  You'll probably have come to your senses by then and decided I'm too old for you.  Or too bald.  Or too... something."

"Not a chance, AJ."

"Or you'll talk to Lisa and she'll tell you what a fool I made of myself with her counselor last night.  And then you'll decide that I'm not a good role model for Lisa and ban me from ever seeing her again."  Lisa squeezed Grace's hand, again.

"Her counselor?  Grace?  How could you possibly have made a fool of yourself with the old battleaxe?"

"She's not an old battleaxe, Meryl.  But I'll leave that for Lisa to explain.  Just suffice it to say that I made a pass at her, and I basically had it thrown back in my face today.  No big deal; not the first time.  But you'd think I'd have learned after the Dr. Walden fiasco to leave the medical types alone."  Grace squeezed Lisa's hand this time.

"AJ," said Meryl.  "You can't lump everyone in the medical profession together like that.  Any more than you can lump everyone in the military together."

"I know.  I guess I'm just feeling a little down right now.  I really liked Grace.  I was rather hoping...  But that's beside the point," AJ sighed.  He turned away from the window and looked up to see Lisa and Grace standing in his doorway.  "Meryl, say hello to your daughter.  She's standing here with her counselor... evidently eavesdropping on our conversation," AJ said testily.

Lisa walked in.  "Hi, Mom."

"Lisa!  How long have you been there listening?" Meryl asked.  "Pick up the receiver, Lisa."

Lisa reached for the receiver and sat down in one of the big leather chairs in front of AJ's desk.  

AJ walked around his desk and past Grace... out into the bullpen and to the break room.  She thought he was going to stop and speak to her, but he didn't even look at her as he passed.  She turned and followed him with her eyes.  When it was obvious that Lisa was going to be a while on the phone with her mother, Grace retraced AJ's steps and followed him into the break room.  He stood leaning against the counter on the far wall, a mug of steaming coffee in his hand.  He looked up as Grace walked in.  "Coffee?" he asked her.  She shook her head, and kept walking toward him.  "Soda?" he offered, motioning toward the refrigerator, just as she closed the distance between them.  

She leaned into him and put her hands on his cheeks.  As she leaned in to claim his lips, she said, "You might want to put that mug down so you don't spill it."  Then she pulled his face to hers and buried her tongue in his mouth.  AJ didn't move.  He didn't respond to the kiss.  He didn't set the mug down.  Grace pulled away and looked up at him.  "I'm sorry.  That was obviously a mistake.  I'll show myself out."  She turned around and almost ran out of the break room.

"Grace!" he bellowed before she reached the bullpen exit.  She stopped but didn't turn around.  "I believe Lisa's mother would appreciate a few words with you... if you have time, that is.  In my office, please."

"Of course," she said, turning and going back to his office.  

"You might want to lock the door so no one walks in on your conversation without your knowing it," he added.

She stopped and looked at him.  "I'm sorry about that, AJ.  When Lisa realized she'd stood you up for lunch, she felt just awful and wanted to apologize.  She opened the door and heard your talking to her mother, so she kept quiet."

"So did you."

"She wanted me to, AJ."

"Home. Mom said I've messed up your life enough for a while and that I should go home." 

She folded her lips under and bit down.  Lisa was fighting tears, and AJ knew it.  "Lisa, why did you listen and not let me know you were standing there?" he asked her.

"I heard Mom's voice.  I was going to say something right away... until I heard you say something about your taking a trip out to her ship to visit.  I thought I should keep my mouth shut then, so you'd go.  Then I knew I should have said something when you... Uncle AJ, I'm so sorry!" Lisa burst into tears and tried to turn and run away.  

But AJ was quicker than she was and he had expected the outburst.  He had slowly approached her so that when she tried to run, all he had to do was reach his arms out and grab her.  He pulled her to him and held her against his chest.  "It's okay, Darlin'.  Shhh, now, it's okay."

"It's not okay.  I ruined everything.  You and Mom.  You and Grace.  And I didn't even keep our lunch date!" she wailed.

"Lisa, you didn't ruin anything.  There wasn't anything there to ruin.  Your mother isn't ready, and when she is, it won't be for me.  No matter what you just heard.  I know that.  She'll realize it.  She's hurting now... and I happen to be the lucky SOB she reached out to in her pain," AJ said, stroking Lisa's back as he held her.

"But what about Grace?   You really liked each other.  And I messed that up, too."

"Darlin', Grace is your counselor.  She feels that, as such, there shouldn't be any other relationship between us."  

Lisa started to object, "But when we were talking at lunch..."

"Lisa, it's not open for discussion.  Grace is your counselor.  Leave it there."

"I'm sorry about lunch, Uncle AJ.  I really am."

"Not a problem, Darlin'.  But I'll give you a little hint.  Don't do that very often.  You stand guys up for a date very often, and they'll stop asking you out.  Guys talk in the locker room, too, you know."  AJ tapped his index finger on the end of her nose.

Lisa smiled.  "I'll remember that," she said as Grace walked out of AJ's office and found them in the bullpen hugging each other.

"If there's nothing else, Admiral, I'll be on my way," said Grace, approaching them.

Lisa backed away from AJ.  "I'm sorry, Grace.  I shouldn't have..."

"It's okay, Lisa," Grace interrupted.  "I'll see you in my office on Monday after school, okay?  Put it on your calendar, Lisa.  Mondays and Thursdays; my office at 3:30."

Lisa nodded.  AJ looked at Grace.  "3:30?  Grace, I believe we discussed evening appointments, didn't we?"

Lisa said, "Now that I know Grace and know she's not going to be mean and ugly, I'll go by myself, Uncle AJ.  You don't need to go with me."

"Oh," he replied simply.

"Captain Rossbach requested that I make my weekly reports to you, Admiral, rather than trying to call her on the ship.  I usually call with my weekly reports and send written ones once a month.  I don't want to inconvenience you, so if you'll tell me the best time to call..."

"Lisa is not an inconvenience, Ms. Evans.  Call whenever you like."

Grace winced at his tone of voice and the formal address.  She didn't even realize that she had called him Admiral twice... which is why he, after the second one, addressed her formally.  "Very well.  I'll call you on Fridays then.  

Friday, 8 February 2002
1745 EST
JAG Headquarters 
Falls Church, Virginia

Most everyone had left by 1700 this afternoon, and AJ's officers were expecting him to meet them at McMurphy's for a drink.  Well, he was already late, and by the time he got there, they'd probably be gone anyway, so he decided against going.  AJ dumped the last of the coffee down the sink in the break room and rinsed out his mug.  He heard the phone ringing and knew he was alone in the office.  "Damn, it's almost 1800 on a Friday night.  Who the hell is calling now?"  He walked to the closest desk and picked up the phone.  "Chegwidden!" he barked.

"Oh!" a female voice said over the line.

"This is Admiral Chegwidden.  May I help you?" he said a little more politely when it was obvious this wasn't a military person on the other end.

"This is Grace Evans.  I didn't realize you'd still be there," she apologized.

"Then why did you call?" he asked.

"I thought I'd leave a message on your voice mail."

AJ chuckled.  "You want me to hang up and let you call back, Grace?"  He could almost feel her lips on his... remembered how wonderful she felt in his arms and pressed against him...

"That won't really be necessary, Admiral."

There it was, again.  The formality... driving a knife through his gut.  "Fine," he said flatly.  "What is it you wanted, Ms. Evans?"

"I told you I'd call on Fridays to give you a progress report on Lisa."  

"I didn't really expect you to have a report for me today, Ms. Evans.  You did, after all, just meet her yesterday.  I wouldn't have expected your first report until next Friday."

"Damn it, AJ... that's not why I called," she blurted out.

AJ replied softly, "Then why did you call?"  He held his breath waiting for her answer.

"It doesn't matter anymore.  Have a nice weekend."  And she hung up.

AJ pulled out his wallet and found the card she'd given him last night.  He dialed her office number and the machine picked up immediately saying the office was closed for the weekend.  Next he dialed her home number that she had written on the card for him.  "Hello?" she answered after the second ring.

"It does matter, Grace.  Why did you call me?" AJ asked.

"How did you..."

"You gave me your home number last night, Grace.  Just before I almost made love to you in the parking lot," whispered AJ.

"I wish you had."

"So do I."

"Is it too late for us?" she whispered.

"Yea, I think so."  They hung up and he placed a call to the USS Akron.  "Meryl?  That offer for next weekend still open?"

Friday, 8 February 2002
1825 EST
McMurphy's Tavern 
Falls Church, Virginia

AJ walked into the bar not expecting to find any of his officers still there, so he didn't even look around.  "Bourbon, straight up," he requested as he took a seat at the bar.  He downed his drink in one gulp.  "Another."  

He intended to drink this one slowly, but as the bartender set it in front of him, AJ was thinking just how crappy his personal life was and how lonely he was and how badly he wanted to get laid tonight.  He really had expected to be with Grace tonight... and maybe even for the entire weekend.  'Damn, how did I screw that up so badly?'  He grabbed the drink and slung it back.  "Another."

This time, AJ thought of Meryl Rossbach.  Soft, yet tough as nails.  Gentle, yet strong.  And so very pliable, so very willing, so very...  AJ threw his head back and swallowed his third drink.  "Another."

"Admiral, you don't usually have more than two drinks... and it's usually beer.  Are you sure you want a fourth bourbon?" asked the bartender.  AJ looked up and glared at the man.  He had his answer.  He set another drink in front of AJ.

That's when AJ heard Harm's voice call from behind him.  "Another pitcher, Jake!  And another one for Mac."

"Coming right up!"

AJ looked in the mirror above the bar and could see his people sitting at a booth.  Harm, Mac, Bud, and Harriett.  "What the hell are you still doing here?" AJ bellowed as he turned around on the stool.

"Admiral!" they chorused.

"If Lisa was here, she'd say 'Jinx' and none of you could talk until someone said your names," AJ said as he walked up to their table with his drink in his hand.  He grabbed a chair from another table and set it at the end of the booth.  "Mind if I join you?" he asked as he fell into the chair.

It was obvious to all four of his officers that the Admiral had already imbibed heavily.  Not a sight they were privy to very often:  their CO getting himself drunk.

"Admiral, when did you arrive?  We didn't see you come in," said Mac.

"Got here a little after 1800," AJ replied.

The bartender arrived with the pitcher of beer and another tonic water with lime for Mac.  He shook his head and nodded at the Admiral.  "6:25."

"It's only 1847 now," said Mac.  The bartended nodded, out of AJ's line of vision.  Mac looked at AJ's drink and his flushed face.  "What are you drinking tonight, Sir?"

"Bourbon.  Straight up," AJ said as he slung the drink back.  "Another."

"How many have you had, Sir?" she asked him.

"Two," he lied.

The bartender shook his head, again and held up four fingers.  "Four."

"Four!?  Four straight bourbons?  Admiral, I think you've had enough, don't you?" Mac said, placing her hand on his arm.

"No, Mac, I don't think I've had enough.  I'm in the mood to get drunk tonight.  Haven't done it in years.  And by damn, I'm gonna do it tonight!"  He turned around and yelled back to the bar, "Another!!"

Harm's cell phone rang and he answered it, effectively tuning out the conversation between Mac and AJ.

"I think you've had enough, Admiral.  Please, let me drive you home, Sir," said Mac.

AJ glared at Mac.  "That is not something you want to do tonight, Mac."

"Yes, Sir, it is.  I don't want you driving.  And if you're going to insist on getting drunk, I'd feel a whole lot better about it knowing you were in the safety of your own home."

AJ didn't take his eyes off Mac.  His glare changed into lust.  "You're sure you want to take me home, Mac?  Chances are *really* good I won't let you leave when we get there," he said thickly.

Mac smiled.  "And why wouldn't you... let me... leave,... Admiral?"  Mac's words were halting and stilted as AJ moved his hand to Mac's knee under the table.  Then he slid it up under her skirt and stroked her inner thigh while she was still speaking.  Mac stiffened and looked helplessly across the table at Harriett.  The bartender returned with his drink.  But rather than remove his hand, he picked up the glass with his left hand and slung it back.  

His using his left hand gave him away.  Harriett now knew what the look on Mac's face was and why she was wiggling in her seat, 'The Admiral must have his hand on her knee or something.'  Harriett spoke up, "You know, actually, Bud and I were going to stop by Tyson's Corner tonight on the way home.  Why don't we drive you home, Admiral?  I think it would be best if you didn't drive... not after five bourbons, don't you?" she offered sweetly.

Bud looked at Harriett curiously.  She hadn't said anything to him about going to the mall tonight.  But that was okay.  If his wife wanted to go shopping, that was fine with him.  Maybe he'd find a new electronic toy to play with!  "That would certainly save you a trip, Colonel," Bud said.  "And the Admiral's house isn't at all out of the way since we're going to the mall."

Harriett smiled at her husband.  She'd almost been afraid that he would say something about not having plans to go there.  "Admiral?" Harriett tried to get his attention, but he was staring at Mac and grinning...that same lustful, almost evil, grin.

AJ yelled to the bartender.  "Bring me another one!"

"Admiral, please.  Don't you think you've had enough?" begged Mac.

He looked at her.  "No, Mac.  I haven't had enough.  But since I can't have anymore of you, Meryl is in the middle of the ocean, and Grace doesn't want my company, I'll have another bourbon.  What the hell does it matter, anyway?  I'm not driving home, now am I?"

The bartender set another glass in front of AJ, and he slugged it down in one swallow.

"Sir, that makes six.  And I'll bet you haven't even eaten supper yet."

"You offering to buy my supper, Mac?" AJ leered at her.  "Or be my supper?"

Bud perked up at that statement.  'Oh my God!  He's drunk!  And he's making a pass at the Colonel.'  "Harriett, I think we'd better get going if we're going to drop the Admiral at his house before we go to the mall.  Admiral?  Shall we go?"  Bud scooted Harriett out of the bench and got up himself.

AJ stood up and swayed a bit.  "Damn.  Can't even hold my liquor anymore.  No wonder I can't hold a woman," he said.  "Rabb!  Get off that damned phone and help me to the car."

Saturday, 9 February 2002
0345 EST
Chegwidden Residence 
McLean, Virginia

AJ rolled over in bed.  "Damn...what did I do last night?" he groaned.  He pulled himself off the bed and managed to make it to the bathroom.  

"Do you need any help, AJ?"

"What the...?" he yelled and twisted around.  He saw Grace standing in his bedroom with her back to him.  She was wearing one of his SeAL t-shirts.  "What are you doing here?"

"Making sure you're all right.  You sound like you're back to your old self.  So when you finish in here, I'll clean up the bathroom... and then dress and..."

"I'm perfectly capable of cleaning up my own bathroom...  Grace, what the hell are you doing here at this hour... and dressed like that?" AJ asked incredulously.

"You don't remember?"

AJ said, "I'm finished."  Grace turned around and walked into the bathroom.  She immediately began cleaning up around the commode and sink.  "Grace, I meant it.  I can clean this up in the morning.  You don't need to..."  She bent over and he could see her panties.  'Well, at least she still has those on, because she sure as hell doesn't have anything else on under that shirt!'

Grace looked up at him with tears in her eyes and smiled.  "I'm glad to do it, AJ.  You go lie back down.  You need more sleep.  Please, I'll be finished in just a few minutes, and then I'll leave.  Now that I know you're going to be okay.  We can talk when you're feeling better."

AJ didn't have the strength to argue with her.  "Fine.  Whatever."  He collapsed on his bed and tried to remember the events of the prior evening.  He got drunk.  He came home.  He stripped.  He laid down.  He slept.  He woke up and vomited.  He slept.  Vomited.  Slept.  He opened his eyes, sat up, and looked around the room.  His clothes weren't strewn all over the floor; they were neatly hung.  And he had shorts on.  He distinctly remembered stripping... completely stripping.  And he vomited in the bed...  "Oh my God," he moaned, closed his eyes and laid back.

Grace was instantly by his side.  "AJ?  What is it?  Are you going to be sick?"

He opened his eyes and pulled Grace to a sitting position on the bed.  He sat up.  "Grace.  Did I... did we... Damn..." he shook his head.

"No, AJ.  We didn't," she said softly.

"You're not just saying that?" he asked, looking at the t-shirt she wore.

Grace smiled and shook her head.  "No.  You didn't have the strength if you'd wanted to."

"I remember stripping.  And falling into bed.  But how did you get here?"

Grace blushed.  "I decided to come over and talk to you this evening.  See if we couldn't work out our differences and misunderstandings.  I got here just as your people arrived with you from the bar.  They kept trying to assure me that you never did this.  We got you out of the van without your hurting yourself, and you started stripping as soon as you walked in the door.  By the time you reached the bedroom, you were naked as the day you were born."

"Oh God..."  AJ closed his eyes and laid back on the bed.  

"I convinced them that I'd stay and take care of you.  My being a nurse helped in that, I think.  Your Colonel MacKenzie was determined that she was going to stay and help you through this."

"That would have been hard for her.  She's a recovering alcoholic."

"Then you're right.  It would have been very hard for her.  I'm all the more glad I insisted on staying."

"Grace, I remember vomiting a couple of times... and I don't think I was in the bathroom."

"No, you were in bed."

"You cleaned that up?"

"Yes, I did," Grace said, praying that he wouldn't ask how he ended up in shorts.  She did not want to have to explain how he puked all over himself and how she'd washed him.

"That's why you changed clothes?" he asked her.

"Uh huh."

Grace got up and went back to the bathroom.  She finished cleaning it up and then began to change into her clothes, which she'd left hanging on the back of the bathroom door.  She hadn't closed the bathroom door all the way, but she was surprised when she heard it creak open.  She had just pulled the t-shirt over her head.  She turned around slowly to face him.  As she turned, she heard his quick intake of breath.  "Graaaace."

He gazed at her for a moment before stepping forward.  He reached his hand out and touched her cheek.  Grace sighed as his thumb ran across her lips.  AJ lowered his mouth to her lips and kissed her gently.  "Mmm," she moaned.  Grace moved her hands to his waist and slipped them around him, pulling him closer to her.

Before either of them realized it, AJ had lowered her to the floor and laid on top of her.  He kissed her neck... her ears... her face...  He sucked her tongue into his mouth and chewed lightly.  That was the wrong thing to do.  As soon as his brain registered chewing, his stomach rebelled.  AJ scrambled off of Grace and quickly grabbed the commode, pulling himself up to it.  Not two seconds later, he threw up what little was left in his stomach... and then started with the dry heaves.  

Grace came and knelt beside him, rubbing his back with one hand and his forehead with the other.  She didn't speak, she just hummed to him.  He finally recognized the tune and he turned to look at her.  "The least you could do is hum the Navy hymn and not the Marine hymn," he grumbled.

Grace laughed.  "Oops.  You mean this one?"  And she hummed the Air Force song.  

"God, no!  That's worse than the Marines!"

Grace laughed even more.  "Feeling a little better now?" she asked as she stood up and dampened a washcloth.  She knelt back down next to him and wiped his face and neck with the warm, soft cloth.  

"Yeah, I guess I am.  I'm going to owe you big time for all this."

"You don't 'owe' me anything."

"Grace, did I... touch you... intimately... before?"

She shook her head.  "No, AJ.  Do you want to?" she asked.

"Is that an offer?"

Grace looked at him carefully.  His pupils were no longer dilated, his breathing was back to normal, and his heart wasn't racing anymore.  'Yea, he's sober.  Sober enough,' she thought.  "Yes, it is," she whispered.

AJ stood up and pulled Grace with him.  He led her into the other room and lowered them to the bed.  "Just how far does this offer extend, Grace?" he asked huskily.

"Just as far as you want it to, AJ," she purred.

"Then I'm *really* going to owe you..."  AJ pulled her tighter into his arms, intending to kiss her for a while and then make love to her.  But the effects of the alcohol weren't completely gone, and he fell sound asleep on top of her after only two minutes of kissing.

Grace chuckled as she rolled out from under him.  She cleaned up the commode from AJ's last vomiting, mopped the bathroom floor, and put the last load of dirty towels in the washing machine.  Then she dressed, wrote AJ a note, and left for home.  Somehow, she just didn't think he'd really want her there when he woke up, again.

Saturday, 9 February 2002
0835 EST
Chegwidden Residence 
McLean, Virginia

AJ awoke with a splitting headache.  He looked around the room, half expecting to see Grace... and half believing he had dreamt her presence during the night.  He sniffed the air; no, there was a definite smell of disinfectant.  He looked at the bed; 'and these are different sheets.  And I sure as hell didn't change them!'  Then he noticed the underwear he had on.  'What the hell?  I haven't worn these in...'  That's when he knew absolutely that Grace had been here.  

Or Mac.  Was it Mac?  Surely not.  But he remembered something about Mac from last night.  'God, what was it?  What did I say to her?  Or do to her?'  AJ closed his eyes and shook his head.  'Oh God...  This is why I quit getting drunk every weekend!'

AJ rolled out of bed and padded to the kitchen.  He found Grace's note on the table.

Saturday, 9 February 2002
1145 EST
Chegwidden Residence 
McLean, Virginia

After AJ read Grace's note, he went to the YMCA and swam laps for two hours.  Now he was back home, showered, shaved, and feeling a lot better.  He picked up the phone and dialed Grace's number.

"Hello?" she answered on the second ring.

"Grace? AJ Chegwidden."

"How are you feeling, AJ?"

"Fine, thanks.  And thank you for all you did for me last night."

"I'm surprised you remember any of it."

"Some.  Not all.  Yet."  He paused.  "I saw your note in the kitchen."

"And?"

"I'd very much like to work things out, too, Grace.  I like you.  A lot.  I'd like to see you."

"All of me?" she teased.

AJ chuckled.  "Most definitely."

Grace laughed.  "Well, that will have to wait until we've talked about a few things, AJ."

"Yes, I know.  How about dinner tonight?"

"That would be lovely, AJ; I'd like that," Grace replied.

"I'll pick you up at 1900.  Wear something casual," he told her.

"Okay.  Casual and 1900... that's 6:00, right?"

"No," he chuckled.  "That's 7:00."  

"Oops.  Okay, I'll be ready."

"I hope so.  I'm already ready."

Saturday, 9 February 2002
1945 EST
Joe's Crab Shack
Washington, DC

AJ and Grace ordered their meals and waited.  They had spoken very little in the car on the way to the restaurant.  In fact, AJ was beginning to think this might not have been such a good idea after all.

"Grace..."  "AJ..."  They spoke at the same time.

"You go first," Grace said.

"No, that's okay.  You go ahead," AJ returned.

"Okay.  I was thinking about something today... and something that happened last night.  Or rather, something you said last night in your sleep."

AJ quirked an eyebrow up at her.  "And what was that?" he asked.

"You talked in your sleep.  Actually, you had a nightmare."

AJ looked down at his hands in his lap, and whispered, "Damn.  Haven't had one of those in a long time."

"You know the nightmare I mean?" she asked him.

"Same one.  Every time I get drunk."

"You were in Vietnam, weren't you?" 

"Yes.  The nightmare is from a pretty harrowing rescue that my team made.  Every one of us got hurt in one way or another during that mission.  We lost two men."

"AJ, last night... you said that you'll 'owe me big time'.  I know I said that you didn't 'owe me' anything.  But on second thought, I wonder if I might coerce you into attending a counseling session this week.  It's a small group... only 4 men and their counselor, a colleague of mine, Timothy Chase.  The men are all Vietnam veterans, and they're all very successful business men."

"Grace, I don't need a counseling session.  My nightmares only come when I'm dead drunk, and I don't get that way very often anymore.  Last night... was a rare occurrence."

The waiter arrived then with their meal, and they paused in their conversation until he left.

"I think you misunderstood, AJ.  I want you to go to the session to help the other men.  I know you don't need it.  But these men continue to have nightmares and it's really wearing them down.  One of them is having anxiety attacks now, another is severely depressed, and the other two have slipped back into a post traumatic stress disorder condition.  It's beginning to take its toll on their professional lives as well as their personal lives.  One man's wife left him because of all of it.  She just couldn't deal with the nightmares anymore."

"I know about that," AJ said sourly.

"Will you consider it, AJ?  I think your going and sharing your story could help them."

"You don't know my story, Grace," AJ informed her.

"No, but I know what I've seen of you.  Of your relationship to Lisa.  And I've seen the respect, admiration, and love your people have for you.  AJ, those four officers were hovering around you last night and, oh... they were loathe to leave you alone with only me there to take care of you.  That says a lot about a person... when those people who work for him think so much of him."

"I don't know what I'd say to them, Grace."

"Tim would guide you... help you to start talking in the right direction.  And they may even just want to ask you some questions.  None of them stayed in the military for long after they got home from Vietnam.  One of them stayed for another term, but they've all been civilians for years.  That these nightmares and problems are coming back to them now is frightening them.  They feel like they're losing control of their lives... and they are!"

"And you think it would benefit them hearing about my nightmares?" AJ asked.

"Not about your nightmares, no.  But about how you dealt with them.  How you dealt with the stress... did you have to use any drugs to help you through... did you ever panic... lose control of your bodily functions... Have you been depressed or anxious?  And how did you deal with those things and overcome them?" Grace explained.

AJ's eyes glazed over as Grace was speaking.  He nodded.  "Yes, to all of the above.  The drug I used was alcohol... nothing that would get me thrown out of the Navy... but I used it as a crutch for a while.  I think the hardest thing to overcome was... having been a SeAL... I was trained to kill on command.  It was different than just killing because you were at war.  We were on special ops.  Our kills were very specific."

"Will you do it?" Grace asked.

AJ set his fork down on his plate and looked up at her.  He nodded, "Once.  I'm not committing to any more than that until I see how it goes."

Grace beamed.  "Thank you, AJ.  I just know it will work out... and that you can help these men.  I'll give Tim your office number and have him call you on Monday."

Continue to Part 4.