Married!?

Author: Ava E-mail: mmmThatAJ@yahoo.com Rating:  PG-13 Disclaimer: JAG and all its characters belong to Belisarius Productions, Paramount, CBS, Viacom, and probably endless others. Summary:  Harm and Catherine find out that they are *really* married! Author's comments:  This takes place after "Pas de Deux".  Any events in future episodes are not considered.  Characters' speaking parts are in double quotes ("text"); characters' thoughts are in single quotes ('text').

Friday, 16 May 2003
1135 EDT
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Lieutenant Bud Roberts paced back and forth in his office.  "How am I going to tell him?" he asked.  "He's gonna kill me!"

His wife, Lieutenant Harriett Sims, was sitting patiently in the guest chair.  "Bud, it's not like you did it on purpose," she tried to calm him.  "You wouldn't have agreed if you'd known."

"Yeah, but that doesn't help much now, does it?" he said.

Harriett glanced out into the bullpen and saw Commander Harmon Rabb walk into his office.  "He's out of court, Bud.  You have to tell him."

"I'm a dead man."

Harriett opened Bud's office door and smiled her encouragement.  "He's not going to kill you," she assured him.

Bud turned a disbelieving look at his wife.  "Yeah, right."  He walked out of his office and knocked on the door frame of Harm's.  "Commander?"

"Bud!  Come on in!  What's up?"  Harm seemed to be in a fairly happy mood.  He must have won his case, as usual.  "Oh, hey... thanks again for helping me out the other day at the hospital.  It meant a lot to Mrs. Gale."

"Sir, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," said Bud.

"What?"

"The... umm..." Bud hedged.

"Hold that thought, Bud," Harm said as his phone rang.  He punched the speakerphone.  "Commander Rabb!"

Harm heard Catherine Gale's voice on the other end of the wire.  "Hi, it's Catherine."

Harm looked a little uncomfortable for a moment.  He turned and faced out the window.  "Hi," was all he said in return.

"Mom was just asking if you were going to be able to drop by this afternoon," Catherine said in a rush.  "I told her about your busy schedule and that you've been out of town, but she really..."

Then Harm heard Mrs. Gale's voice.  "Harm, dear?  I'd so like to see you again.  Won't you come by and see me?  Please, Son?"

Harm wondered what else Catherine had told her mother.  'Out of town?'  No, he hadn't been out of town, but that was obviously the excuse she gave for his not having gone back to see her in the hospital.  

He wondered what excuse she used for not having a wedding ring anymore.  As if the woman had read his mind, she continued, "And Harm, dear.  I know you've been busy and haven't had much time, but Catherine really misses her wedding band.  You know she lost it that first day in the ladies' room here at the hospital, don't you?  That happened before you left town, didn't it?"

Harm almost laughed.  'What'd she tell her?  She washed it down the sink or flushed it down the toilet?' he wondered.  "Yes, Ma'am, it did.  I just haven't had a chance to buy her another one."

"You will come and see me now that you're back home, won't you, Son?"

Harm couldn't think of a ready excuse, so he replied, "Of course I will, Ma'am.  As soon as I can leave the office today, I'll swing by to see you."

"Wonderful!  I'll look forward to it!  And I promise... I won't keep you long.  I know you haven't seen much of Catherine since you got married.  You'll want to have some private time with her tonight," she almost giggled.

Harm could hear Catherine's voice now, "Mama, let me have the phone..."  And then, "Harm?"

"Yeah."

"I know how busy you are, and if it's too much, we understand."

Harm chuckled.  "You understand.  But your mother doesn't."

She sighed, "I know."

"Catherine, we're going to have to tell her the truth.  She's getting stronger all the time," Harm said gently.

"Yes, she is," he could hear the happiness in Catherine's voice.  "They're talking about moving her to a regular room tomorrow."

"Okay, we'll talk about it later.  I'll drop by this afternoon to see her," Harm said.  

"I'll see you then.  Bye, Honey."

"Goodbye, Dear," Harm chuckled.  He turned around to disconnect the call, when he saw Admiral AJ Chegwidden standing inside his doorway.

"Something you care to tell me, Commander?" the Admiral grinned.

"Sir?" Harm choked.

"Wedding band?  Sounds like someone got married."

"Yes, Sir.  I mean, no, Sir.  I mean..." Harm stumbled.

AJ folded his arms over his chest.  "I'm waiting."

"Well, you see, Sir, I was having lunch one day this week with Catherine Gale when she got..."

"Catherine Gale!?  The CIA's pit bull lawyer?" AJ interrupted.

Harm nodded.  "Yes, Sir."  AJ's face registered shock.  "Anyway, Sir, she got a phone call while we were eating that her mother was back in the hospital in critical condition.  Catherine was very upset, so I insisted on driving her to the hospital.  There was a misunderstanding when we got there, and her brother assumed I was her boyfriend and then her mother assumed it... and well, somehow we told her that we were engaged.  And then her mom wanted us to get married right there so she could see it.  She wasn't expected to live through the night..."  

AJ was shaking his head in disbelief at this point.  "So you got married?"

"No, Sir!" Harm said.

"Yes, Sir!" Bud croaked.

AJ looked from one to the other.  "Well, which is it, Gentlemen?"

"We did, Sir... but we didn't really," explained Harm. "It was just for show.  I called Bud..."

Bud picked up the story.  "The Commander called me at home to ask me to pretend to be a minister and perform the marriage, Admiral."

"And you did?"

"Yes, Sir," Bud nodded.  "But..." he hesitated.

"But?" Harm and AJ looked at him.

"There's just one little problem," Bud said.

AJ could see it coming, but it took Harm completely by surprise.  "I got my license in the mail yesterday.  It's dated 1 May, Sir.  I'm an ordained minister."

"Which means the marriage was legal," stated AJ.  Bud nodded his affirmation.

"What?!" bellowed Harm.  "How the hell did you get ordained, Bud?" Harm spat.

"I didn't really mean to, Sir.  I mean, I did; I went through all the pages and answered the questions and filled out the forms and everything... but then I changed my mind... but before I hit Cancel, little AJ climbed in my lap and accidentally hit the Enter key and..."

"You got ordained over the Internet?" AJ asked incredulously.

Bud nodded.  "Yes, Sir."

"What kind of group ordains someone over the Internet?!?"

"It's not a very large group, Sir.  But it's growing," Bud said.

"Maybe it's not valid in Virginia," Harm hoped.

Bud looked chagrinned. "It's valid in 33 of the 50 states, Sir.  The whole east coast, included."

"You mean..." Harm started.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Bud apologized.

"Well, Commander.  Looks like congratulations are in order!" chuckled AJ, clapping Harm on the shoulder.  "Bring your wife by sometime; I'd like to see her again!"

 

 

Friday, 16 May 2003
1445 EDT
JAG Headquarters
Falls Church, Virginia

Harm sat in his office staring out the window.  'What am I going to do now?' he wondered.  He thought of Mac.  What was it she'd said just before she left with Webb?  Something about his never making advances to her when she was able to return them.  He knew she was right, and he wondered why.  'I love Mac.  I know I do.  So why do I always put her off?  Maybe because I know it wouldn't work?'  

He thought about his recent lovers...

Renee - She was excellent in bed.  But to make a home with her?  Have a family with her?  Their children would end up as little Hollywood commercial kids.  No thanks!  'Good thing she found that mortician.'

Jordan - She was willing to try anything once.  But again, a family with her?  She'd constantly be analyzing him and the children!  No possible way.  'I am sorry she's dead, though.  She didn't deserve that.'

Annie - Poor Annie.  Neurotic.  That's what Mac called her.  And it pretty well described her, he knew.  'I wonder where she is now?  What she's up to?  I do wish I could see Josh again.'

Kate - "God, was that a mistake!" he blurted out loud.

Harm got up and headed for the break room to get a fresh cup of coffee.  As he went, he thought about Catherine Gale.  'She's pretty, I'll give her that.  Smart as they come.  Doesn't take anything from anybody either... well, except her mother,' Harm chuckled to himself.  "I wonder how she'd be in bed?"

"Excuse me?"  Harm heard a female voice.

He looked up and saw Petty Officer Jennifer Coates and Tiner standing in front of him.  Harm gulped, "I wasn't... I mean... no..."  His face now suffused in red, he tried again.  "I wasn't talking to you... about you... I... um..."

Jen's face cracked a smile now.  They'd obviously caught him thinking about someone.  "I do hope you're wondering about your wife, Sir," Jen quipped.

"My what?"

"Your wife, Sir," said Tiner.  "The Admiral says you got married this week.  Congratulations, Commander!"

"Who's the lucky lady?" asked Jen.  "Who evidently hasn't been all that lucky yet?" she teased.

Harm blinked.  "Catherine Gale."

Bud and Harriett walked up behind him.  "No, Sir.  Actually, she's Catherine Rabb now," Bud said.

"The CIA lawyer?" confirmed Tiner.

"One and the same," Harriett smiled.

"You do make a lovely couple, Sir," Bud told him.

Harriett bubbled to Jen, "They used my ring for the ceremony!  It was a little snug and they had trouble getting it off."  She looked at Harm and winked, "Catherine must need a size 6.  Mine's 5-3/4."

Harm rolled his eyes as he walked back to his office.  'Size 6.  Like I need to know that!'

 

 

Friday, 16 May 2003
1935 EDT
Kresge Medical Center
Pimmit Hills, Virginia

Harm stepped off the elevator and headed for the Coronary Care Unit.  He saw Catherine's brother, Andrew, in the waiting area.  "Andy," Harm greeted him as he walked in and set two packages on the table.  

"Harm!" Andy said, turning to shake hands.  "Glad you came.  Catherine's in with Mom now.

"How's she doing?" Harm asked.

"Catherine or Mom?" Andy grinned.

Harm chuckled, "Both."

"Catherine's doing pretty good.  She was getting a little antsy about your not having come by yet, I think.  Funny, though... she told me not to expect you, but she keeps looking for you."  Andy shook his head.  "Women."  Harm grinned.  "Mom is doing a lot better.  The doctor says if she does well through the night, he's going to move her to a regular room in the morning."

"Catherine mentioned that earlier; that's great!"

"Of course, if he does that, Catherine's already decided that she will have to tell Mom the truth about you two."

Harm said, "Think it would be okay for me to go in now?"  He picked up the packages he had set on the table.

"Definitely!" Andy replied.  "Come on."  They moved quietly into the room in case Mrs. Gale was asleep.  She wasn't.  "Look who I found!" Andy said.

"Harm!" both women said at once.  

"Sorry I'm so late," Harm smiled his mega-watt grin.  "I had to make a couple of stops on my way here."  He set the packages on the table at the end of the bed and walked up next to Catherine.  As if it was the most natural thing in the world, he slipped his arms around her and kissed her soundly.  

When they stepped apart, Catherine pressed her lips together and blushed as she turned to face her mother.  "Darling, you don't have to be embarrassed about kissing your husband!" her mother told her.  "I hope I'm around to see it a lot more!"

"You will be, Ma'am," Harm told her confidently.  Catherine turned surprised eyes to him.  He slipped his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss against her temple.  "I'm sure of it."

"What do you have there, Son?" Mrs. Gale asked, pointing to the packages on the table.

Harm smiled.  "I brought you a little something."

"Harm!  You didn't have to do that!" she said, while contradicting herself by clapping in anticipation.

"I know.  But I wanted to."  Harm reached for the smaller package and handed it to his new mother-in-law.

She unwrapped it carefully, Andy helping her by making sure she didn't pull any tubes out of her arms and hands.  When she pulled the tissue paper back, her eyes lit up.  "How beautiful!"  Andy took the box and tossed it to the end of the bed as his mother held the light pink satin bed jacket to her.  "It's so beautiful, Harm!  Thank you," she said as tears filled her eyes.  

"I thought you might like it for when you're moved to the regular floor tomorrow," Harm smiled at her.

"Oh, yes!  It will be perfect for that!"

Harm looked at Catherine and smiled.  "I have something for you, too, Honey."  She eyed him carefully at his endearment.  

Harm reached for the larger package and handed it to her, keeping his hands on the box.  He knew she wouldn't be expecting the weight; he was right.  She would have dropped it if he'd removed his hands.  "What in the world?" she asked.

"Just open it, Honey," he smiled.

She set it down on the edge of the bed and ripped the paper off.  She wasn't nearly so gentle and careful as her mother had been.  She lifted the wooden lid on the elegant storage box, and when she saw what it was, she looked up in surprise.  "Silverware?"

Harm grinned.  "I told you that we'd get married the other night on one condition... that I got to pick the silverware pattern."

Her mother looked surprised.  Andy laughed, "He did!  I heard him!"

Her mother giggled then, "Well, is it one you at least like, Catherine?"  

"What?" she asked stupidly.  "Oh!  I don't know... I didn't look..." she gasped as she looked at the pattern.  Catherine stared at him in disbelief.  "This is... this... I..." she stammered as she looked back at the box.  It was the pattern she had chosen for herself only last year and was buying one place setting every quarter.  So far, she had 3 place settings.  She looked up at Harm.  "I don't understand."

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a small velvet box.  He opened the hinged lid and retrieved the gold band from its cushion.  Picking up her left hand and sliding the ring on her finger, he said, "Can't have my wife walking around without a wedding ring.  Someone will try to pick her up," he winked at her mother.  The ring firmly ensconced on Catherine's finger, Harm lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the ring on her hand.

"Harm," Catherine started to object.

"Do you mind if I steal my wife for a few minutes, Ma'am?"

"Not at all!  You go right ahead, Harm!" she thrilled.  "And call me 'Mom'!"

Harm winked at her, "Okay.  Mom."  He put his arm around Catherine's waist and pulled her along with him into the waiting area.  

"Harm, what are you doing?" she asked when they were alone.

"Catherine, there's something I need to tell you," he said softly, lifting his hand to her face and gently brushing a loose strand of hair behind her ear.  "You're so lovely," he breathed.

"Harm, focus, please!" Catherine said.  "What is this all about?  The ring?  The silverware?  Thank you for the bed jacket for Mom; she'll treasure that, and it was very thoughtful of you, but..."

"Catherine," Harm put his index finger on her lips.  She frowned at him.  "The silverware is for you to keep, no matter what."

She looked at him incredulously and shook her head.  "Why?  I don't understand.  And how did you find out that was my pattern?"

"I stopped at Tyson's Galleria on my way here... I was going to get a really gaudy pattern as a joke.  But then the girl in Saks asked me your name and I told her... and before I knew it, she was looking you up in the computer and showing me your pattern."

"You told her my name?" Catherine blanched.

"It's such a gorgeous pattern, I decided not to waste the money on a joke and buy you the whole set."

"Harm!"

"She said you already have three place settings, so she agreed to switch three of the set for some serving pieces," Harm continued.

"Harm!" Catherine shook her head.  "I can't accept this!  That silverware is $350 per place setting!"  

He grinned.  "I know.  Now we have service for 12."

"But..."

"It's your wedding present.  From me."

Her jaw fell open.  "What?"

"That's what I have to tell you," Harm said.  He reached for her and pulled her into his arms.  "Catherine, you remember Bud Roberts?  He was the Lieutenant who came and performed the ceremony the other night?"  She nodded.  Harm proceeded to tell Catherine how Bud was actually an ordained minister and the marriage was legal.  "He didn't know it until he got home from work yesterday and found his license in the mail."  Harm sighed.  "But it was dated 1 May.  And it's valid in Virginia; we already checked."

"So, what are you saying?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I'm saying that you are legally... my wife.  Mrs. Catherine Rabb."

Catherine blinked several times.  "I... you mean... I'm... we're..." she stammered.

He nodded, "Yes, Dear.  We're married."

"Oh, my God," she breathed.  "So what do we do now?  Get an annulment, I guess?"

"Why don't we wait until we see what happens with your mother?  She's doing so much better now.  You don't want to give her a set-back.  We can do this, don't you think?" he smiled that mega-watt grin at her.

"You'd do that for me?"

Harm nodded.  "And who knows?  We might actually find that we like each other."

 

 

Friday, 13 May 2005
1935 EDT
Rabb Residence
Pimmit Hills, Virginia

Harm opened the front door and walked in the house.  "Honey, I'm home!"

"Hi, Harm!" called his brother-in-law from the family room.

"Hey, Andy!" Harm set his cover and briefcase on the table and reached out to shake Andy's hand.  "Good to see you."

"And you, Harm.  Stopped by the cemetery this afternoon.  You really keep those guys on their toes.  I think they're afraid of you, Captain!"

Harm nodded.  "Just want to be sure Mom's grave is tidy.  Catherine still goes out there a lot."  He changed the subject, "So, you're babysitting tonight, hmm?"

"You know it!  Any chance I get to keep the little ones, I jump at. Happy anniversary, by the way," Andy said.

"Just wait until they're both walking, Andy!  You'll change your mind then, I'll bet," Catherine said as she entered the room with an infant in one arm and a toddler in the other.  Harm grinned at her.  "What are you grinning at?"

"Just like I told your mother two years ago:  God gave you those hips for a reason!"

 

The End.